Lead me from dreaming to waking.Lead me from opacity to clarity. Lead me from the complicated to the simple. Lead me from the obscure to the obvious. Lead me from intention to attention. Lead me from what I'm told I am to what I see I am. Lead me from confrontation to wide openness. Lead me to the place I never left, Where there is peace, and peace -from the Upanishads- Unless you know the emptiness and bliss inside yourself..you'll be a robot forced by the same emptiness and bliss trying to know itself..by pain.. ...inside your self also..trust me!..said the mahayogi! so listen to the mahayogi..,grasshopper from heaven...
In silence there must be movement, and in motion,
There must be silence. A small movement is better than a big one.. No movement is better than a small one..listen! Silence is all the movement's mother.. In Movement you should be like a dragon or a tiger. In non Movement you should be like a Buddha. -- Wang Xiangzhai(November 26, 1885 - July 12, 1963}What is referred to as mindlessness is absence of the human mentality; what is referred to as mindfulness is mindfulness of the Tao. When one is free of the human mentality, the mutual sensing of the earthly and celestial is swift; when one is mindful of the Tao, effective practice endures. Swiftness of sensing comes about spontaneously, without cultivation, without striving; long perseverance comes about through effort, and involves action and striving. Striving and non-striving each has its secret; the distinction is all a matter of the absence of the human mentality and the presence of mindfulness of the Tao. After one has reached complete realization of the universal Tao, neither existence nor nonexistence remain; others and self are ultimately empty, and one enters the state of ultimate truthfulness, like a spirit. Here, it is not only the human mentality that cannot be applied; even the mindfulness of Tao is not applicable." - Liu I-ming The Conduct of the Moon and Clouds
The consistent conduct of people of the Way is like the flowing clouds with no grasping mind, like the full moon reflecting universally, not confined anywhere, glistening within each of the ten thousand forms. Dignified and upright, emerge and make contact with the variety of phenomena, unstained and unconfused. Function the same toward all others since all have the same substance as you. Language cannot transmit this, speculation cannot reach it. Leaping beyond the infinite and cutting off the dependent, be obliging without looking for merit. This marvel cannot be measured with consciousness or emotion. On the journey accept your function, in your house please sustain it. Comprehending birth and death, leaving causes and conditions, genuinely realize that from the outset your spirit is not halted. So we have been told that the mind that embraces all the ten directions does not stop anywhere. -- Hongzhi Zhengjue (1091-1157)
*Note..these are important experiences which are recorded from this Thomas Benedict near-death stuff..
..grasshoppers from heaven..from my point of view,all I was shown or told was that I WAS THE LIGHT experiencing ITSELF!..by me!..remember ,zer kripto,, as I define it..is NOT the spirit ..nore the emptiness ..nore the bliss..nore the soul...is the ,,resonance,, of the 2..see?..in this present moment,I may say?
Is like the a pristine awareness acting thru a certain instrument,in this time frame(while by itself is timeless?)
You might say also is the ,,union of soul with spirit,,...I guess..if you like the new age non-sense.
What is interesting about this..and different than the formidable Benedict Thomas..was this simple fact..when I was the LIGHT in the FOREST..and the forest was light..I was the same light...I didn't talk to anything outside MY true nature..see?
Even when I asked,,zer yavol light,,..why I am here..IT responded with my own voice,in english..
This voice was coming from above,like a thunder..yet from within me...and with MY VOICE!!...you are here to experience yourself IT HAD SAID!!..since I was everything.
Truth to tell..these kind of experiences mess you up a bit..you are never normal after that,really..takes time to understand...trust me!
It's like an infinite feedback between the ,,resonator,,(or the kripto,as I define it)..and the pure emptiness/bliss trying to know itself thru you?..as manifesting?..be aware that ,,knowledge,, is only in manifesting..bliss is only on knowing and feeling your true nature..peace is only on eternal awareness within you..
I think is some eternal GOD trying to know itself.. ,,you are here to experience yourself,, as i was told..and the true self was GOD..
BUT!!..unless it happens to you..what's the point to read other people stories?..they might be nuts,no?
This is a BIG issue..how do you relate about this stuff?..if they didn't experience it?
How YOU explain them that ..their true nature is peace and bliss?..only if they try to sense the sensations in their bodies?
How can you explain that beauty.. immortality ..bliss..peace..experiencing this..is their birth right?
How MANY gurus came and passed along..how many religions?
WHY ARE WE killing each others I say?..for some muslim or christian beliefs?..so I am right..and you must die if you don't follow my path?..this is the demented path we took as humanity?
Is very funny on this Benedict Thomas case..he used to read every bad news..everyday he got more and more upset,till he got the brain cancer...lol..and the brain cancer was the ultimatum..no?
YET..he had this experience of UNITY..and PEACE..and LOVE..
Which makes me think..why we need pain for us to grow?
Because OTHERWISE we won't!
So you must bless your enemies ..bless your problems..be happy you have something to stimulate you into something HIGHER than you ever thought you could be,or do..
Remember one thing..grasshoppers from heaven..loved dearly by the mahayogi..
This pristine yavol awareness is your true nature..trying to build universes in the all realms...from bacteria..to human..
But love is it;s nature..and is also it's drive..to love and know itself..see?..by experience!!
For what you love..always loves you back..dear you?
Never forget that..
Kisses to you..thus spokenth the mahayogi!
added by danny..
Interview with Mellen-Thomas Benedictby Edie Weinstein Moser
Mellen: I’m someone who really didn’t believe that there was a God and wasn’t interested, frankly. I had no religious foundation, except that I had spent years in a Catholic boarding school. I was a self employed artist, very self centered and I had a very shallow view of life. In fact, I believed that with all the Cold War stuff that was going on at the time, somehow, some way, this world would end in my lifetime. It seemed to be a fact that all the experts were seeking to prove at the time. It was something that was always at the back of my mind. I think a lot of people thought that way. I think the seed of my disease, as I learned later, was in my world view. My world view was crystallized by a photograph that was put out by well meaning ecology groups. It is still floating around in some publications. It was an aerial view of the city of Los Angeles, compared to a micro-photograph of a cancer cell. They were side by side, and were so stunningly similar that you immediately drew the conclusion, at least I did, that nature had somehow created a malignant cancer on Earth and it was humanity. In that moment, it crystallized my world view. Many years later, I developed terminal brain cancer that was incurable and inoperable at the time. People have to be careful about what they believe. I still meet people who believe that the world is going to end in their lifetime. I really try to spend a minute with them and ask "Do you really believe that? Do you want to believe that? Do you know what that is doing to you, believing that?" I don’t think people realize that world view is so crucial to the life they live and to their health.
I literally died believing that the world was a lost cause and that human-ity was a lost cause. It was with my experience with the Light, that had me ask "Why is humanity so dark and evil and doomed?" The Light sort of became a mandala of human souls. It was as if I was allowed to look at every one including my own. I was stunned to find out that I couldn’t see any evil or darkness. That changed my world view. In that moment, I could fall in love with humanity, which I saw from a series of questions I asked. I began to see that in fact, humanity is one of the most graceful beings on this planet. I got to see it from the Gaia point of view, which is looking at the Earth as a whole system and we are part of that system and not separate from it. I had never heard the word Gaia before and never thought about it before. Most people believe that humans are superior to everything and different from everything, when in fact, we are not. I was shown that in fact, there are more microbes in our body than there are cells. If you want to get down to what we are really made of, we are made of the Earth itself. We are graced to be this part of it.
My world changed dramatically. With every question I brought up about the end of the world, I was shown that there was hope and that this is just the beginning. The world is never going to end as people imagine. That was my biggest change; to see things from the Gaia perspective which added a wholeness that I never had. If you just see it from a scientific or spiritual point of view, or through mathematics, you are missing what the Universe is about. Can mathematics calculate love, compassion, touch? It’s best to have a full spectrum view, to see the whole rainbow instead of just part of the rainbow. We are created in it, with it and by it. This is something that humbles me to this day, that we are blessed to be the human part of this Universe and the human part of God, if you will. Wisdom: Did anything prior to 1982 prepare you for what transpired?
Mellen: Not really. I wasn’t that interested until I became terminal and there wasn’t that much information available. I was from a small town and none of my friends were interested in this kind of stuff either. You know, once you look for something, you find a lot of it, but I wasn’t even looking. In my hospice, there was a small library and there was a book on world religions that I looked through. There were also a bunch of Christian books that I didn’t even bother looking at. I wasn’t interested in intellectual things at the time either. Not much preparation.
Wisdom: So did the Light feel like a living energy or entity in and of itself?
Mellen: Yes. I look at things from 3 levels now that I have had 27 years to go back to the Light and get more and more layers. I would say that my first experience was a "wonder child experience". It was wonderful. It was amazing. My first question when I was before the Light was "Are you God?" I didn’t believe in God at all. The Light is really, as I know now, the oversoul matrix of our system and the sum-total of everything we have ever been to this point. It is, itself, evolving as we are evolving, so the Light seems to know you. It knows you individually and discretely because your light is a direct part of it. I call it the Great Self. When I asked the Light "Are You God?" - and the light speaks to you in a way that you will understanding - the Light said to me "Who and what is not God?"
Immediately, my understanding of what was said to me, meant that if I tried to tell you who and what IS God, I would have to name everything in the Universe and that would take forever. It’s all God. Delving into that even deeper, it’s kind of a flimsy word. We have a rather narrow perception of what God is, being separate from us. In most organized religions, God is something in the sky somewhere, but in fact, it is not. We are a direct part of it and never separated from this wholeness. I now know that whatever your program is, whether Jewish, Muslim, Christian, the first thing you are going to see is your own projection of that, because that is how you are going to understand it.
P.M.H. Atwater had discovered me and I had never heard the term Near Death Experience, before I attended one of her lectures in 1985 and I thought "My God, that’s what happened to me!" She took me under her wing and introduced me to Dr. Ken Ring and others. They were amazed to hear my story. When I was with the light, I felt completely safe and a bit euphoric. If you can imagine being free of survival. Can you imagine the feeling of winning the lottery and you would never have to worry again? I then asked the Light to wait a minute since I had other questions and it said "Yes." At that moment, I realized that this experience was just as interactive as my life had been. Dr. Ken Ring and others had said that it was the first time someone ever reported that they had stopped the experience and realized that it was interactive. I never felt rushed or pushed or on some kind of Disneyland ride and I felt comfortable to have a conversation. It involved everything I could ever think of. I tell people that the death experience is an adventure; an interactive experience. Engage in it. If you are unconscious enough to think there is some pre-set paint by numbers experience, as certain books can tell you, that this is what’s going to happen when you die, then you can follow that course. I asked to see behind the veil and understand what I was seeing. That’s when it became interactive. I did see Jesus and angels and that shocked me. Those were projections from things early in my life. When I did see Jesus, and I write about this excessively in my book; it was an amazing experience to see the Christ. Even then, I asked "What does this really mean? What am I really seeing?" That’s when I entered into what I call in the book "the God stream of consciousness" that began in the presence and literally wound back into every religion that had ever been on Earth. All religions on Earth are connected and one came out of the other in a natural evolution that was easy to see. Then there came a point at which there were no people on the planet and so there were no Gods or images of Gods. That’s when I got the Gaia experience. As I would ask, it would be revealed and explain to me. It made natural and not supernatural sense to me.
Wisdom: Since you came out of this experience, you have created some beautiful poetry. Were you a poet prior?
Mellen: Yes, I was an artist and a poet. I tell people that my experience is what happens when an artist/poet has a Near Death Experience. I often wonder what happens when a mathematician or an accountant has an NDE. For them, it may all be in the numbers. That’s the uniqueness of it all. Each of us is a different facet of a multi-dimensional experience we are having. There really is only One of us. Once we wake up to this, then we really understand what the ancients were saying "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." That is yourself. How you treat yourself is how you treat other people.
Wisdom: Have you found that you now have a heightened ability to be a healing presence?
Mellen: I honestly believe and I understand that this is scientific now, that this is a natural ability in all living things to heal ourselves and others through our emissions of energy and thought. This can be explained in physics now, what they call psychic healing work. It can explained spiritually as well. I believe that everything from a grain of sand to a human being, has a frequency at the atomic level that emanatse life and regeneration. That’s why the ancients knew that certain stones when placed on certain organs would tend to bring the organs back up to normal and heal them. Humans can become very fine instruments for this kind of healing, because we have a brain that can focus. If you don’t have emotions, you can’t be a great healer. You have to feel love to create great power and so you find that some of the greatest healers have the greatest of compassion and big hearts and could put off a tremendous amount of energy which can be measured. I do believe that what most people say is a "psychic reading" isn’t really psychic at all, because it is mind reading. That’s of brain activity; like wireless communication. True psychic ability is at the base of our consciousness. Look at mothers and their children. I know when I was a kid, I wondered how my mother always knew what I was doing.
Wisdom: Why do we fear death?
Mellen: It’s what you could call "cultural hypnosis". It’s a function of the upper brain, mostly. It is a natural fear in that it seems to be a discontinuation of your story or path, which it really isn’t because you do continue on in different forms. If you talk to people, the fear of death is the fear of suffering or the fear of being abandoned and being separated by loved ones. The fear of death can be healthy because it helps you survive. It will only come about now, as wisdom rises on the planet, to understand that there is no death, really. Before my NDE, I was a rock climber and sky diver, because it was fun. After my NDE, I saw how valuable life is and how valuable being able to walk and think are. The thought of taking this gift that was given to me, which is life itself and hanging from the edge of a cliff or jumping out of an airplane to see what would happen, became silly. It was not a fear of death, it became a respect for life.
Wisdom: Is your intention to offer comfort for people as they face death - respecting it, but not fearing it?
Mellen: Yes. I have resisted putting out a book these many years. I’ve had offers yearly. My story wasn’t complete until now. I was told that it would be 20-25 years before my sharing would be of value to others and it has come to be that way. I was told never to sell my story. When a publishing company buys your story, you don’t own it anymore. They own the intellectual property. I have an agreement with the publishing company I am working with, that I own my story. I finally have found a publisher who understands my story.
Wisdom: I appreciate that you offer hope for the future that can shine brighter than the fears. That’s quite a gift.
Mellen: I was the last person to want to put up a website about me. From 1995 -2005, I gave up the whole thing and went into research and development. I didn’t answer letters or emails. I didn’t talk about the NDE at all. In that time, the story took on a life of its own. Why I put up my own site in 2005, I was getting letters and emails and by that time, the story had started mutating to all kinds of versions. My first website was called "The Real Mellen" and this is what really happened and that the other things were exaggerations at best. I get emails from people who tell me that the story has helped them or given them hope. That just humbles me. That is incredible and am amazed that the story has that kind of legs.
is the website for more information.
Edie Weinstein-Moser is a free-lance writer, speaker, interfaith minister and social worker. Her website is www.liveinjoy.orgHis real explaining from...
"Through the Light"
The Near-Death Experience of Mellen-Thomas Benedict
Mellen-Thomas Benedict's case is part of my original near-death research; a brief version of it appears in my book, BEYOND THE LIGHT. I can attest that his case is genuine and his claims about the brain tumor and the conditions of his death are true. I have met his mother and step-father, been in his and their homes, and have followed his life since - his struggles and his accomplishments - as he sought to find a way to integrate his experience into his daily life while still honoring the mission he felt guided to fulfill. What you are about to read has a hint of mystery to it, and this is the mystery: this version of his story (which reads like an article) is actually a transcription of a tape made of a talk he gave about a decade ago. Whoever did the transcription then put the story on the Internet for free distribution. Five different people sent it to me, so I contacted Mellen-Thomas to discuss the situation. He and I both felt it was as if the Universe, his soul, God, was saying to him. . . "It's time now to open up and share your story. You have something to say that needs to be heard." Whoever put his material on the Internet did the man a favor, actually, did all of us a favor, and not just because his is such an interesting case (it truly is) - but because of how he has matured since and what he has learned. Should you wish to contact him, he has given me permission to publish his address and telephone number: Mellen-Thomas Benedict, P. O. Box 1898, Soquel, CA 95073; (831) 427-5554. (The address and phone on the Internet version are incorrect.)
--Dr. P. M. H. Atwater
This account is extremely special in so many ways. This is a core account where he was dead for 1-1/2 hours after dying of cancer. He came back, with the most amazing story - and a healed body. The spiritual wisdom contained in this account is awesome. Mellen-Thomas is an amazing fellow to talk to! He was told a long time ago, his account belonged to the world, so he never sold the rights to a book publisher or film producer. He freely shares his account. I originally found out about this account from a Finnish doctor who asked Aussie friend for a copy of the account. And . . . Lastly, is the extreme gratitude to Kevin Williams http://www.near-death.com for all his hard work on NDE research and for sharing this account with NDERF. The lack of proprietorship is one of the true hallmarks of credibility for NDE research - they are there for everyone!
Mellen-Thomas Benedict is an artist who survived a near-death experience in 1982. He died extremely discouraged about the nuclear and ecology crisis on our planet. He was dead for over an hour and a half and during that time, he rose up out of his body and went into the Light. Curious about the universe, he was taken far into the remote depths of existence, and even beyond, into the energetic Void of Nothingness behind the Big Bang. During his experience, he was able to learn a great deal of information concerning reincarnation. Because of his near-death experience, he was able to bring back scientific discoveries. Mellen has been closely involved in the mechanics of cellular communication and research dealing with the relationship of light to life called Quantum Biology. This research is providing dramatic new perspectives on how biological systems work. Mellen has found that living cells can respond very quickly to light stimulation resulting in, among other things, high speed healing. He is a researcher, inventor and lecturer who holds six U.S. patents.
He brought back deep and fascinating insights into scientific and spiritual questions. Now full of faith and healed of his illness, he lives in California, helping heal others and working with university scientists to explore theoretical frontiers.
Dr. Janice Holden, in the Department of Counselor Education at the University of North Texas confirms that Mellen-Thomas, under hypnosis, was able to give accurate information about and draw the genetic makeup of a rare neuromuscular disease. She was astounded by this, saying "It’s not the kind of thing where one could cheat" (Blaser).
Dr. Beverly Rubik, a bio-physicist and founding Chair of the Center for Frontier Science at Temple University, has also tested Mellen-Thomas’ insight. She let him try his technique for healing with light on her. She had some raspberry bramble scratches on her arm and let him shine his light treatment on half the scratches for ten minutes. The treated scratches healed twice as fast as the untreated. "I am very much impressed with the ideas that he gets for the future of medical technology," she says, especially since he’s not a trained bio-physicist or engineer" (Blaser).
Mellen-Thomas Benedict lives in California, speaking, leading workshops, and researching new healing techniques from the Light.
A portion of his near-death experience appears in P.M.H. Atwater's book, Beyond the Light. Concerning Mellen's near-death experience, Dr. Kenneth Ring, a professor at the University of Connecticut, remarked, "His story is one of the most remarkable I have encountered in my extensive research on near-death experiences."
Mellen-Thomas Benedict's Story:
The Road To Death
In 1982 I died from terminal cancer. The condition I had was inoperable, and any kind of chemotherapy they could give me would just have made me more of a vegetable. I was given six to eight months to live. I had been an information freak in the 1970's, and I had become increasingly despondent over the nuclear crisis, the ecology crisis, and so forth.
So, since I did not have a spiritual basis, I began to believe that nature had made a mistake, and that we were probably a cancerous organism on the planet. I saw no way that we could get out from all the problems we had created for ourselves and the planet. I perceived all humans as cancer, and that is what I got. That is what killed me. Be careful what your world view is. It can feed back on you, especially if it is a negative world view. I had a seriously negative one. That is what led me into my death. I tried all sorts of alternative healing methods, but nothing helped. So I determined that this was really just between me and God. I had never really faced God before, or even dealt with God. I was not into any kind of spirituality at the time, but I began a journey into learning about spirituality and alternative healing. I set out to do all the reading I could and bone up on the subject, because I did not want to be surprised on the other side. So I started reading on various religions and philosophies. They were all very interesting, and gave hope that there was something on the other side.
On the other hand, as a self-employed stained-glass artist at the time, I had no medical insurance whatsoever. So my life savings went overnight in testing. Then I was facing the medical profession without any kind of insurance. I did not want to have my family dragged down financially, so I determined to handle this myself. There was not constant pain, but there were black-outs. I got so that I would not dare to drive, and eventually I ended up in hospice care. I had my own personal hospice caretaker. I was very blessed by this angel who went through the last part of this with me. I lasted about eighteen months. I did not want to take a lot of drugs, since I wanted to be as conscious as possible. Then I experienced such pain that I had nothing but pain in my consciousness, luckily only for a few days at a time.
The Light Of God
I remember waking up one morning at home about 4:30 am, and I just knew that this was it. This was the day I was going to die. So I called a few friends and said goodbye. I woke up my hospice caretaker and told her. I had a private agreement with her that she would leave my dead body alone for six hours, since I had read that all kinds of interesting things happen when you die. I went back to sleep.
The next thing I remember is the beginning of a typical near-death experience. Suddenly I was fully aware and I was standing up, but my body was in the bed. There was this darkness around me. Being out of my body was even more vivid than ordinary experience. It was so vivid that I could see every room in the house, I could see the top of the house, I could see around the house, I could see under the house. There was this Light shining. I turned toward the Light. The Light was very similar to what many other people have described in their near-death experiences. It was so magnificent. It is tangible; you can feel it. It is alluring; you want to go to it like you would want to go to your ideal mother's or father's arms. As I began to move toward the Light, I knew intuitively that if I went to the Light, I would be dead. So as I was moving toward the Light I said, "Please wait a minute, just hold on a second here. I want to think about this; I would like to talk to you before I go."
To my surprise, the entire experience halted at that point. You are indeed in control of your near-death experience. You are not on a roller coaster ride. So my request was honored and I had some conversations with the Light. The Light kept changing into different figures, like Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, mandalas, archetypal images and signs. I asked the Light, "What is going on here? Please, Light, clarify yourself for me. I really want to know the reality of the situation." I cannot really say the exact words, because it was sort of telepathy.
The Light responded. The information transferred to me was that your beliefs shape the kind of feedback you are getting before the Light. If you were a Buddhist or Catholic or Fundamentalist, you get a feedback loop of your own stuff. You have a chance to look at it and examine it, but most people do not. As the Light revealed itself to me, I became aware that what I was really seeing was our Higher Self matrix.
The only thing I can tell you is that it turned into a matrix, a mandala of human souls, and what I saw was that what we call our Higher Self in each of us is a matrix. It's also a conduit to the Source; each one of us comes directly, as a direct experience from the Source. We all have a Higher Self, or an oversoul part of our being. It revealed itself to me in its truest energy form. The only way I can really describe it is that the being of the Higher Self is more like a conduit. It did not look like that, but it is a direct connection to the Source that each and every one of us has. We are directly connected to the Source.
So the Light was showing me the Higher Self matrix. And it became very clear to me that all the Higher Selves are connected as one being, all humans are connected as one being, we are actually the same being, different aspects of the same being. It was not committed to one particular religion. So that is what was being fed back to me. And I saw this mandala of human souls. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I just went into it and, it was just over-whelming. It was like all the love you've every wanted, and it was the kind of love that cures, heals, regenerates.
As I asked the Light to keep explaining, I understood what the Higher Self matrix is. We have a grid around the planet where all the Higher Selves are connected. This is like a great company, a next subtle level of energy around us, the spirit level, you might say. Then, after a couple of minutes, I asked for more clarification. I really wanted to know what the universe is about, and I was ready to go at that time. I said "I am ready, take me." Then the Light turned into the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen: a mandala of human souls on this planet.
Now I came to this with my negative view of what has happen on the planet. So as I asked the light to keep clarifying for me, I saw in this magnificent mandala how beautiful we all are in our essence, our core. We are the most beautiful creations. The human soul, the human matrix that we all make together is absolutely fantastic, elegant, exotic, everything. I just cannot say enough about how it changed my opinion of human beings in that instant. I said, "Oh, God, I did not know how beautiful we are." At any level, high or low, in whatever shape you are in, you are the most beautiful creation, you are. I was astonished to find that there was no evil in any soul. I said "How can this be?" The answer was that no soul was inherently evil. The terrible things that happened to people might make them do evil things, but their souls were not evil. What all people seek, what sustains them, is love, the Light told me. What distorts people is a lack of love.
The revelations coming from the Light seemed to go on and on, then I asked the Light, "Does this mean that humankind will be saved?" Then, like a trumpet blast with a shower of spiraling lights, the Great Light spoke, saying, "Remember this and never forget; you save, redeem and heal yourself. You always have. You always will. You were created with the power to do so from before the beginning of the world."
In that instant I realized even more. I realized that WE HAVE ALREADY BEEN SAVED, and we saved ourselves because we were designed to self-correct like the rest of God's universe. This is what the second coming is about. I thanked the Light of God with all my heart. The best thing I could come up with was these simple words of totally appreciation: "Oh dear God, dear Universe, dear Great Self, I love my Life."
The Light seemed to breathe me in even more deeply. It was as if the Light was completely absorbing me. The Love Light is, to this day, indescribable. I entered into another realm, more profound than the last, and became aware of something more, much more. It was an enormous stream of Light, vast and full, deep in the Heart of Life. I asked what this was.
The Light responded, "This is the RIVER OF LIFE. Drink of this manna water to your heart's content." So I did. I took one big drink and then another. To drink of Life Itself! I was in ecstasy.
Then the Light said, "You have a desire." The Light knew all about me, everything past, present and future. Yes!" I whispered.
I asked to see the rest of the Universe; beyond our solar system, beyond all human illusion. The Light then told me that I could go with the Stream. I did, and was carried through the Light at the end of the tunnel. I felt and heard a series of very soft sonic booms. What a rush!
The Void Of Nothingness
Suddenly, I seemed to be rocketing away from the planet on this stream of Life. I saw the earth fly away. The solar system, in all its splendor, whizzed by and disappeared. At faster than light speed, I flew through the center of the galaxy, absorbing more knowledge as I went. I learned that this galaxy, and all of the Universe, is bursting with many different varieties of LIFE. I saw many worlds. The good news is that we are not alone in this Universe! As I rode this stream of consciousness through the center of the galaxy, the stream was expanding in awesome fractal waves of energy. The super clusters of galaxies with all their ancient wisdom flew by. At first I thought I was going somewhere; actually traveling. But then I realized that, as the stream was expanding, my own consciousness was also expanding to take in everything in the Universe! All creation passed by me. It was an unimaginable wonder! I truly was a Wonder Child; a babe in Wonderland!
It seemed as if all the creations in the Universe soared by me and vanished in a speck of Light. Almost immediately, a second Light appeared. It came from all sides, and was so different; a Light made up of more than every frequency in the Universe. I felt and heard several velvety sonic booms again. My consciousness, or being, was expanding to interface with the entire Holographic Universe and more. As I passed into the second Light, the awareness came to me that I had just transcended the Truth. Those are the best words I have for it, but I will try to explain. As I passed into the second Light, I expanded beyond the First Light. I found myself in a profound stillness, beyond all silence. I could see or perceive FOREVER, beyond Infinity. I was in the Void.
I was in pre-creation, before the Big Bang. I had crossed over the beginning of time - the First Word - the First vibration. I was in the Eye of Creation. I felt as if I was touching the Face of God. It was not a religious feeling. Simply I was at one with Absolute Life and Consciousness.
When I say that I could see or perceive forever, I mean that I could experience all of creation generating itself. It was without beginning and without end. That's a mind-expanding thought, isn't it? Scientists perceive the Big Bang as a single event which created the Universe. I saw that the Big Bang is only one of an infinite number of Big Bangs creating Universes endlessly and simultaneously. The only images that even come close in human terms would be those created by supercomputers using fractal geometry equations.
The ancients knew of this. They said Godhead periodically created new Universes by breathing out, and de-creating other Universes by breathing in. These epochs were called Yugas. Modern science called this the Big Bang. I was in absolute, pure consciousness. I could see or perceive all the Big Bangs or Yugas creating and de-creating themselves. Instantly I entered into them all simultaneously. I saw that each and every little piece of creation has the power to create. It is very difficult to try to explain this. I am still speechless about this.
It took me years after I returned to assimilate any words at all for the Void experience. I can tell you this now; the Void is less than nothing, yet more than everything that is! The Void is absolute zero; chaos forming all possibilities. It is Absolute Consciousness; much more than even Universal Intelligence.
Where is the Void? I know. The Void is inside and outside everything. You, right now even while you live, are always inside and outside the Void simultaneously. You don't have to go anywhere or die to get there. The Void is the vacuum or nothingness between all physical manifestations. The SPACE between atoms and their components.
Modern science has begun to study this space between everything. They call it Zero-point. Whenever they try to measure it, their instruments go off the scale, or to infinity, so to speak. They have no way, as of yet, to measure infinity accurately. There is more of the zero space in your own body and the Universe than anything else!
What mystics call the Void is not a void. It is so full of energy, a different kind of energy that has created everything that we are. Everything since the Big Bang is vibration, from the first Word, which is the first vibration. The biblical "I am" really has a question mark after it. "I am - What am I?"
So creation is God exploring God's Self through every way imaginable, in an ongoing, infinite exploration through every one of us. Through every piece of hair on your head, through every leaf on every tree, through every atom, God is exploring God's Self, the great "I am". I began to see that everything that is, is the Self, literally, your Self, my Self. Everything is the great Self. That is why God knows even when a leaf falls. That is possible because wherever you are is the center of the universe. Wherever any atom is, that is the center of the universe. There is God in that, and God in the Void.
As I was exploring the Void and all the Yugas or creations, I was completely out of time and space as we know it. In this expanded state, I discovered that creation is about Absolute Pure Consciousness, or God, coming into the Experience of Life as we know it. The Void itself is devoid of experience. It is pre-life, before the first vibration. Godhead is about more than Life and Death. Therefore there is even more than Life and Death to experience in the Universe!
I was in the Void and I was aware of everything that had ever been created. It was like I was looking out of God's eyes. I had become God. Suddenly I wasn't me anymore. The only thing I can say, I was looking out of God's eyes. And suddenly I knew why every atom was, and I could see everything. The interesting point was that I went into the Void, I came back with this understanding that God is not there. God is here. That's what it is all about.
So this constant search of the human race to go out and find God ...God gave everything to us, everything is here - this is where it's at. And what we are into now is God's exploration of God through us. People are so busy trying to become God that they ought to realize that we are already God and God is becoming us. That's what it is really about.
When I realized this, I was finished with the Void, and wanted to return to this creation, or Yuga. It just seemed like the natural thing to do. Then I suddenly came back through the second Light, or the Big Bang, hearing several more velvet booms. I rode the stream of consciousness back through all of creation, and what a ride it was! The super clusters of galaxies came through me with even more insights.
I passed through the center of our galaxy, which is a black hole. Black holes are the great processors or recyclers of the Universe. Do you know what is on the other side of a Black Hole? We are; our galaxy; which has been reprocessed from another Universe. In its total energy configuration, the galaxy looked like a fantastic city of lights. All energy this side of the Big Bang is light. Every sub-atom, atom, star, planet, even consciousness itself is made of light and has a frequency and/or particle. Light is living stuff. Everything is made of light, even stones. So everything is alive. Everything is made from the Light of God; everything is very intelligent.
The Light Of Love
As I rode the stream on and on, I could eventually see a huge Light coming. I knew it was the First Light; the Higher Self Light Matrix of our solar system. Then the entire solar system appeared in the Light, accompanied by one of those velvet booms. I saw that the solar system we live in is our larger, local body. This is our local body and we are much bigger than we imagine. I saw that the solar system is our body. I am a part of this, and the earth is this great created being that we are, and we are the part of it that knows that it is. But we are only that part of it. We are not everything, but we are that part of it that knows that it is.
I could see all the energy that this solar system generates, and it is an incredible light show! I could hear the Music of the Spheres. Our solar system, as do all celestial bodies, generates a unique matrix of light, sound and vibratory energies. Advanced civilizations from other star systems can spot life as we know it in the universe by the vibratory or energy matrix imprint. It is child's play. The earth's Wonder Child (human beings) make an abundance of sound right now, like children playing in the backyard of the universe.
I rode the stream directly into the center of the Light. I felt embraced by the Light as it took me in with its breath again, followed by another soft sonic boom.
I was in this great Light of Love with the stream of life flowing through me. I have to say again, it is the most loving, non-judgmental Light. It is the ideal parent for this Wonder Child.
"What now?" I wondered.
The Light explained to me that there is no death; we are immortal beings. We have already been alive forever! I realized that we are part of a natural living system that recycles itself endlessly. I was never told that I had to come back. I just knew that I would. It was only natural, from what I had seen.
I don't know how long I was with the Light, in human time. But there came a moment when I realized that all my questions had been answered and my return was near. When I say that all my questions were answered on the other side, I mean to say just that. All my questions have been answered. Every human has a different life and set of questions to explore. Some of our questions are Universal, but each of us is exploring this thing we call Life in our own unique way. So is every other form of life, from mountains to every leaf on every tree.
And that is very important to the rest of us in this Universe. Because it all contributes to the Big Picture, the fullness of Life. We are literally God exploring God's Self in an infinite Dance of Life. Your uniqueness enhances all of Life.
Return To Earth
As I began my return to the life cycle, it never crossed my mind, nor was I told, that I would return to the same body. It just did not matter. I had complete trust in the Light and the Life process. As the stream merged with the great Light, I asked never to forget the revelations and the feelings of what I had learned on the other side. There was a "Yes". It felt like a kiss to my soul.
Then I was taken back through the Light into the vibratory realm again. The whole process reversed, with even more information being given to me. I came back home, and I was given lessons on the mechanics of reincarnation. I was given answers to all those little questions I had: "How does this work? How does that work?" I knew that I would be reincarnated. The earth is a great processor of energy, and individual consciousness evolves out of that into each one of us.
I thought of myself as a human for the first time, and I was happy to be that. From what I have seen, I would be happy to be an atom in this universe. An atom. So to be the human part of God ... this is the most fantastic blessing. It is a blessing beyond our wildest estimation of what blessing can be. For each and every one of us to be the human part of this experience is awesome, and magnificent. Each and every one of us, no matter where we are, screwed up or not, is a blessing to the planet, right where we are.
So I went through the reincarnation process expecting to be a baby somewhere. But I was given a lesson on how individual identity and consciousness evolve. So I reincarnated back into this body. I was so surprised when I opened my eyes. I do not know why, because I understood it, but it was still such a surprise to be back in this body, back in my room with someone looking over me crying her eyes out. It was my hospice caretaker. She had given up an hour and a half after finding me dead. She was sure I was dead; all the signs of death were there - I was getting stiff.
We do not know how long I was dead, but we do know that it was an hour and a half since I was found. She honored my wish to have my newly dead body left alone for a few hours as much as she could. We had an amplified stethoscope and many ways of checking out the vital functions of the body to see what was happening. She can verify that I really was dead. It was not a near-death experience. I experienced death itself for at least an hour and a half. She found me dead and checked the stethoscope, blood pressure and heart rate monitor for an hour and a half. Then I awakened and saw the light outside. I tried to get up to go to it, but I fell out of the bed. She heard a loud "clunk", ran in and found me on the floor.
When I recovered, I was very surprised and yet very awed about what had happened to me. At first all the memory of the trip that I have now was not there. I kept slipping out of this world and kept asking, "Am I alive?" This world seemed more like a dream than that one. Within three days, I was feeling normal again, clearer, yet different than I had ever felt in my life. My memory of the journey came back later. I could see nothing wrong with any human being I had ever seen. Before that I was really judgmental. I thought a lot of people were really screwed up, in fact I thought that everybody was screwed up but me. But I got clear on all that.
About three months later a friend said I should get tested, so I went and got the scans and so forth. I really felt good, so I was afraid of getting bad news. I remember the doctor at the clinic looking at the before and after scans, saying, "Well, there is nothing here now." I said, "Really, it must be a miracle?" He said "No, these things happen, they are called spontaneous remission." He acted very unimpressed. But here was a miracle, and I was impressed, even if no one else was.
The mystery of life has very little to do with intelligence. The universe is not an intellectual process at all. The intellect is helpful; it is brilliant, but right now that is all we process with, instead of our hearts and the wiser part of ourselves.
The center of the earth is this great transmuter of energy, just as you see in pictures of our earth's magnetic field. That's our cycle, pulling reincarnated souls back in and through it again. A sign that you are reaching human level is that you are beginning to evolve an individual consciousness.
The animals have a group soul, and they reincarnate in group souls. A deer is pretty much going to be a deer forever. But just being born a human, whether deformed or genius, shows that you are on the path to developing an individual consciousness. That is in itself part of the group consciousness called humanity.
I saw that races are personality clusters. Nations like France, Germany and China each have their own personality. Cities have personalities, their local group souls that attract certain people. Families have group souls. Individual identity is evolving like branches of a fractal; the group soul explores in our individuality. The different questions that each of us has are very, very important. This is how Godhead is exploring God's Self - through you. So ask your questions, do your searching. You will find your Self and you will find God in that Self, because it is only the Self.
More than that, I began to see that each one of us humans are soul mates. We are part of the same soul fractaling out in many creative directions, but still the same. Now I look at every human being that I ever see, and I see a soul mate, my soul mate, the one I have always been looking for. Beyond that, the greatest soul mate that you will ever have is yourself.
We are each both male and female. We experience this in the womb and we experience this in reincarnation states. If you are looking for that ultimate soul mate outside of yourself, you may never find it; it is not there. Just as God is not "there". God is here. Don't look "out there" for God. Look here for God. Look through your Self. Start having the greatest love affair you ever had ... with your Self. You will love everything out of that.
I had a descent into what you might call Hell, and it was very surprising. I did not see Satan or evil. My descent into Hell was a descent into each person's customized human misery, ignorance, and darkness of not-knowing. It seemed like a miserable eternity. But each of the millions of souls around me had a little star of light always available. But no one seemed to pay attention to it. They were so consumed with their own grief, trauma and misery. But, after what seemed an eternity, I started calling out to that Light, like a child calling to a parent for help.
Then the Light opened up and formed a tunnel that came right to me and insulated me from all that fear and pain. That is what Hell really is. So what we are doing is learning to hold hands, to come together. The doors of Hell are open now. We are going to link up, hold hands, and walk out of Hell together. The Light came to me and turned into a huge golden angel. I said, "Are you the angel of death?" It expressed to me that it was my oversoul, my Higher Self matrix, a super-ancient part of ourselves. Then I was taken to the Light.
"Soon our science will quantify spirit. Isn't that going to be wonderful? We are coming up with devices now that are sensitive to subtle energy or spirit energy. Physicists use these atomic colliders to smash atoms to see what they are made of. They have got it down to quarks and charm, and all that. Well, one day they are going to come down to the little thing that holds it all together, and they are going to have to call that ... God. With atomic colliders they are not only seeing what is in here, but they are creating particles. Thank God most of them are short-lived milliseconds and nanoseconds. We are just beginning to understand that we are creating too, as we go along. As I saw forever, I came to a realm in which there is a point where we pass all knowledge and begin creating the next fractal, the next level. We have that power to create as we explore. And that is God expanding itself through us.
Since my return I have experienced the Light spontaneously, and I have learned how to get to that space almost any time in my meditation. Each one of you can do this. You do not have to die to do this. It is within your equipment; you are wired for it already. The body is the most magnificent Light being there is. The body is a universe of incredible Light. Spirit is not pushing us to dissolve this body. That is not what is happening. Stop trying to become God; God is becoming you. Here.
The mind is like a child running around the universe, demanding this and thinking it created the world. But I ask the mind: "What did your mother have to do with this?" That is the next level of spiritual awareness. Oh! my mother! All of a sudden you give up the ego, because you are not the only soul in the universe.
One of my questions to the Light was "What is Heaven?" I was given a tour of all the heavens that have been created: the Nirvanas, the Happy Hunting Grounds, all of them. I went through them. These are thought form creations that we have created. We don't really go to heaven; we are reprocessed. But whatever we created, we leave a part of ourselves there. It is real, but it is not all of the soul.
"I saw the Christian Heaven. We expect it to be a beautiful place, and you stand in front of the throne, worshipping forever. I tried it. It is boring! This is all we are going to do? It is childlike. I do not mean to offend anyone. Some heavens are very interesting, and some are very boring. I found the ancient ones to be more interesting, like the Native American ones, the Happy Hunting Grounds. The Egyptians have fantastic ones. It goes on and on. There are so many of them. In each of them there is a fractal that is your particular interpretation, unless you are part of the group soul that believes in only the God of a particular religion. Then you are very close, in the same ball park together. But even then, each is a little bit different. That is a part of yourself that you leave there. Death is about Life, not about Heaven.
"I asked God: "What is the best religion on the planet? Which one is right?" And Godhead said, with great love: "I don't care." That was incredible grace. What that meant was that we are the caring beings here. The Ultimate Godhead of all the stars tells us: "It does not matter what religion you are." They come and they go, they change. Buddhism has not been here forever, Catholicism has not been here forever, and they are all about to become more enlightened. More light is coming into all systems now. There is going to be a reformation in spirituality that is going to be just as dramatic as the Protestant Reformation. There will be lots of people fighting about it, one religion against the next, believing that only they are right. Everyone thinks they own God, the religions and philosophies, especially the religions, because they form big organizations around the philosophy. When Godhead said, "I don't care," I immediately understood that it is for us to care about. It is important, because we are the caring beings. It matters to us and that is where it is important. What you have is the energy equation in spirituality. Ultimate Godhead does not care if you are Protestant, Buddhist, or whatever. It is all a blooming facet of the whole. I wish that all religions would realize it and let each other be. It is not the end of each religion, but we are talking about the same God. Live and let live. Each has a different view. And it all adds up to the big picture; it is all important.
"I went over to the other side with a lot of fears about toxic waste, nuclear missiles, the population explosion, the rainforest. I came back loving every single problem. I love nuclear waste. I love the mushroom cloud; this is the holiest mandala that we have manifested to date, as an archetype. It, more than any religion or philosophy on Earth, brought us together all of a sudden, to a new level of consciousness. Knowing that maybe we can blow up the planet fifty times, or 500 times, we finally realize that maybe we are all here together now. For a period they had to keep setting off more bombs to get it in to us. Then we started saying, "we do not need this any more." Now we are actually in a safer world than we have ever been in, and it is going to get safer. So I came back loving toxic waste, because it brought us together. These things are so big. As Peter Russell might say, these problems are now "soul size." Do we have soul size answers? YES!
"The clearing of the rain forest will slow down, and in fifty years there will be more trees on the planet than in a long time. If you are into ecology, go for it; you are that part of the system that is becoming aware. Go for it with all your might, but do not be depressed. It is part of a larger thing. Earth is in the process of domesticating itself. It is never again going to be as wild a place as it once was. There will be great wild places, reserves where nature thrives. Gardening and reserves will be the thing in the future. Population increase is getting very close to the optimal range of energy to cause a shift in consciousness. That shift in consciousness will change politics, money, energy.
"What happens when we dream? We are multi-dimensional beings. We can access that through lucid dreaming. In fact, this universe is God's dream. One of the things that I saw is that we humans are a speck on a planet that is a speck in a galaxy that is a speck. Those are giant systems out there, and we are in sort of an average system. But human beings are already legendary throughout the cosmos of consciousness. The little bitty human being of Earth/Gaia is legendary. One of the things that we are legendary for is dreaming. We are legendary dreamers. In fact, the whole cosmos has been looking for the meaning of life, the meaning of it all. And it was the little dreamer who came up with the best answer ever. We dreamed it up. So dreams are important.
"After dying and coming back, I really respect life and death. In our DNA experiments we may have opened the door to a great secret. Soon we will be able to live as long as we want to live in this body. After living 150 years or so, there will be an intuitive soul sense that you will want to change channels. Living forever in one body is not as creative as reincarnation, as transferring energy in this fantastic vortex of energy that we are in. We are actually going to see the wisdom of life and death, and enjoy it. As it is now, we have already been alive forever. This body that you are in, has been alive forever. It comes from an unending stream of life, going back to the Big Bang and beyond. This body gives life to the next life, in dense and subtle energy. This body has been alive forever already."
Of movement and stillness, be aware of their origin;
There is no work to do, much less someone to seek.
The true and constant must respond to phenomena;
Responding to phenomena, you must be unconfused.
When unconfused, the nature will stabilize by itself;
When the nature stabilizes, energy returns by itself.
When energy returns, the elixir crystallizes by itself;
Within the pot, the trigrams of heaven and earth are joined.
Yīn and yáng arise, alternating over and over again;
Every transformation comes like a clap of thunder.
White clouds form and come to assemble at the peak;
The sweet nectar sprinkles down Mount Sumeru.
Swallow for yourself this wine of immortality;
You wander so freely—who is able to know you?
Sit and listen to the tune played without strings;
Clearly understand the mechanism of creation.
It comes entirely from these twenty lines;
A true ladder going straight to Heaven.-Daoist text -
To us all towns are one, all men our kin. Life's good comes not from others' gift, nor ill. Man's pains and pains' relief are from within. Thus have we seen in visions of the wise !." - Tamil Poem-
Kripto the spirit within you kissed you:)...Lovely story of the creation purpose...shakti means manifestation,and shiva means the origin of it..the kiss is the joy of emptiness knowing itself...kisses from the mahayogi to you,grasshoppers from heaven!