Can you look at yourself?

Lead me from dreaming to waking.
Lead me from opacity to clarity.
Lead me from the complicated to the simple.
Lead me from the obscure to the obvious.
Lead me from intention to attention.
Lead me from what I'm told I am to what I see I am.
Lead me from confrontation to wide openness.
Lead me to the place I never left,
Where there is peace, and peace
- The Upanishads

*note* pretty rough life and explaining the way to the good life..From my friend Vernon....but then,never forget these words,,THE MASTERY OF YOUR ATTENTION WILL COME WHEN YOU WILL START SEEING THAT IT IS ALL A MYTH THAT UPSETS YOU.JUST THROW IT AWAY..AND UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE THE ETERNAL LIFE.ONLY THEN YOU WILL FULLY ENJOY YOURSELF BECAUSE YOUR ATTENTION WOULD BE COMPLETELY DRENCHED IN THE BLISS OF YOUR TRUE SELF.-SHRI MATAJI NIRMALA DEVI-..but then,I wrote some time ago a poetry about this topic..
The one you think
The one you feel
Will never,ever want to shrink
And all it wants is a good deal
How can I use my mighty powers
How my desires won't be sorrow
How can I be as entity
Away from pain and cruelty
I say abandon the term ,I,
Then you will feel,and think as sky
Just think of nothing,be yourself
The universe amazing elf
With 2 big eyes and a big nose
You room the galaxies across
Forget the big smile on your face
Dead or alive..you are the grace..
The cosmic joke has been rezolved
Just smile and know this game is old
There is no past,there is no future
There is no me,there is no you
There is this moment's right composure
Of this and that,and white and blue
Awake from this and you are free
As butterflies can only be...
-added by danny-
...............................
Follow The Guide Out Of The Desert
A talk by Vernon Howard given on 10-18-81 at 2 PM
Follow The Guide Out Of The Desert
A talk by Vernon Howard given on 10-18-81 at 2 PM

Pretty rough life, huh? It's always been pretty rough, hasn't it? Go on back a
few years. Remember when you were a little boy, a little girl, seven or eight,
and you were so excited about life, about so many things – until your great
shock. You ran into blows by people – your own parents, by society in
general. And then you started to retreat.

Now this experience I've briefly recounted is typical of every human being
who comes into this world. You can't come into this world without becoming
its victim. Can you take that simple fact that I've given you so far and see
the full horror of it? That every one including you, which you well know, you,
you know what your parents did to you. You know what those
schoolteachers did to you. You know what those sick relatives did to you.
When you're young you don't have much sense. You don't have any
reasoning power. You don't have any ability to take a blow, an insult, a hurt
in the right way. There is no way a child can do that. All a child can do is
feel the pang of it, the heartache of it. And then – and you had better listen
to what I am going to tell you next because it's an – you can't understand,
even begin to understand the importance of it. When those aches and those
headaches and those angers that started to build up inside of you, when
they started to become a part of your daily life you embraced them as the
only friend you had in life.

Now follow. Human beings take the ache and they take the disappointments
and the blows to their ambitions and their desires, they take them in and
they get frustrated and pretty soon a horrible thing happens to every human
being on earth. And what happens to that man or that woman is that he
begins to live from, begins to live with his agony and call that his life. And
I'll guarantee every one of you listening to me right now, I'll guarantee you,
whether you're aware of it or not, that this is your inner state as you are
seated here right now. That part is a fact.

What we are going to do now is talk about a way to break the fact. Do you
know what a difficult task it is that you have? Yes, you. Not me. You. It's
your life. Do you know what a task you have to stop loving your anger? To
stop loving your retreat and say, "I am so fed up with being scared. I am so
tired of it I am not going to tolerate it anymore. I don't know what I am
going to do about it, but I know that I am not going to bed anymore the
way I do now with a madhouse mind of mine. When I put my head on the
pillow and it drives me crazy and doubly crazy because I know that
tomorrow morning that madhouse mind has to get up and face that world,
and may Heaven help me, all I can do is take that madhouse mind out and
fake it, and pretend that everything is all right."

Look, I am going to give you a great opportunity right now. I am going to
give you an opportunity to do something that you've never done before in
your life. I know you haven't. Oh, what a beautiful chance you have right
now if you will take it. I am going to give you an opportunity to know
absolutely and one-hundred percent and fully that you are a lost human
being. I'm going to give you a chance to see it, to understand it and to
accept it as a fact, so that you can smash the fact. You haven't done it up
until now. I watched you as you came in here. I watched your faces, I
watched your gestures, I watched your inner state, and very easy to see, by
the way, for me to understand what you're like. Because I know. You don't,
you don't understand how your face gives you away. You don't know how
the very way that you walk gives you away.

Now, back to the opportunity. You have a marvelous chance right now as
you're seated here to simply say something like this. Look how simple it is.
"All my life I have been nothing but a fake." How marvelous! For the first
time in your life you told the truth. And for the first time in your life you
have uttered a true prayer, because you have admitted the condition that
you are in.

The title of this series is, of course, stress – Success Without Stress. If you
want to start out with the word stress that's fine. You're under stress, are
you not? How many of you are under stress? Raise your hand. You can all
raise your hand – every single one of you. (Laughter)

You're under economic stress, do you think? You're under sexual stress, do
you think? You're under social stress. You don't know what to do with that
husband of yours. You wonder how you ever got married to him. Or that
wife...why you ever got matched with her. And the children, they drive you
crazy – don't they? – and drain your pocketbook. And you wonder – you
wonder how you ever could have been so stupid as to get into the trap that
you're obviously in. That is pretty stressful, isn't it? And you look out in the
world and you see political stress, you see financial stress. People nervous –
not knowing what to do. Nobody, nobody knows what to do.

Do you know that, by the way? Do you, do you know that nobody knows
what to do about anything? How can the cause of the problem be the
solution to the problem? How come all – how come all your sick maniacs
who run things politically, religiously, socially, educationally – how can the
madmen express sanity into the world so as to correct the condition. It can't
be done and you know it. And the evidence is so plainly in front of you. You
look out and you think it's the world against you. That's pretty bad odds,
isn't it?

Now let me tell you something which you're going to have difficulty
understanding, but you have to start somewhere. And it's about time you
started. You've wasted your life up till now and it's about time you started
doing the right thing for yourself. You've done everything possible to keep
yourself in this miserable state including hostility, including hatred, including
anger, including sneering at decency, including sneering at anything that
doesn't go along with what you presently believe in.

Let me tell you a story. Then we'll get back to stress a little later, but it all
connects. Listen to these. Try to find yourself – try to find yourself
somewhere in this illustrative story I am going to tell you. Imagine a desert
land. Thousands of people living out in a dry, dusty, hot, miserable desert.
You know how it is out in the Mojave there, Sahara. Dry, miserable. Here is
several thousand people living out there. Living outwardly just as the world
lives inwardly – in distress, not knowing – not knowing where to get a cool
cup of water, dusty and hot, hating their environment.

How do you like your inner environment as you go along with yourself all
day long, by the way? Not very pleasant, is it? How do you like living with
yourself? Going around every day with you. Pretty unpleasant company,
isn't it? Because you don't know what to do about anything! Of course you
don't! But you can if you come to every one of these lectures and you stop
lying to yourself. If you can stop lying to yourself.

Anyway, here are these thousands of people out in this miserable place,
desolate, lonely. You're lonely, aren't you? Here you have a husband, wife,
ten kids and you are lonely. You are, you know. The reason you're lonely is
because you are separated from home. Here are these people living out
here, and a man comes along and his origin is a vast, bright, beautiful
mountain a hundred miles away. He lives on top of this mountain where
there's cool water and pretty springs and streams and grass and beautiful
green trees and colored flowers. This is where this man lives who we'll call
the Guide, capital G. This Guide comes down from the top of the mountain,
walks down, walks over into the desert.

And by the way, let me get a little point in, extra point in, and see if you can
understand it. When this Guide who lives up in the mountain comes down
into the dry, hot, blistering, thirsty desert, when he comes into it he doesn't
feel hot, he doesn't feel thirsty, he doesn't feel dry. Is there one of you who
understands that? I'll give it to you very briefly. When you are authentically
spiritual you can live in this dry desert of the world and you won't feel any
thirst at all, because that's not where you're really living from.

Alright, so our Guide comes down and he gathers all the people together.
Let's say there is two hundred of them in one particular group. He gathers
two hundred people together and he says, "Ladies and gentlemen, I have
the most marvelous news for you. Never in your life have you heard what I
am about to tell you. Please listen very carefully to everything I'm going to
say. Ladies and gentlemen, you've lived in this dry, desolate place all your
life and I understand, I understand why you're so crabby." How many of you
are crabby? Come on. I'll use a different word. How many of you are
irritable? See, different people raise their hand. (Laughter)

"I understand why you snap at the boss secretly. You can't do it openly or
he'll fire you. I understand why you hate your wife at times while you
pretend you have to like her because she's given you sex and that is what
you want to keep. I understand everything about you, ladies and
gentlemen, and I have, again I have good news for you. If you will follow
me I will guide you, I will lead you from where you are to where you can be.
I will lead you from this dry, miserable desert along the desert floor for
awhile. It takes a long time to even get to the foot of the mountain where
you can start to learn to change yourself. I'll take you for a long, long
journey but a fascinating one. Isn't it? Fascinating. It's fun. It's downright
fun to find yourself! Come with me on this journey and eventually we'll get
to the foot of the mountain, and then I'll guide you step by step up the
mountain where there is all this water and beauty and rest and peace and
quiet – a beautiful place for you to live."

"And ladies and gentlemen," the Guide added the following, "when you
arrive at the top of the mountain you will dwell there forever more. That will
be your everlasting place to live. But that is a bit difficult," he explained,
"for you to understand now, because you have a time-bound mind which
cannot understand the vastness of eternity. However, I give you this
preliminary thought, to give you something to think about and begin to
work up toward an understanding of. So ladies and gentlemen, if you are
willing to follow me we'll go on the journey. How many would like to go?"
Now there were two hundred people – oh, you've already raised your hand.
That's fine. (Laughter) There were two hundred people in the dry desert in
this particular group and he said, "How many want to go?" and all two
hundred raised their hand. How many of you would like to go? Let's make it
official. Want to go along? Well, let's find out.

See, I have not finished the story yet. You may find yourself somewhere
along in it and might be surprised at where you find yourself. So the Guide
with a capital G, which indicates he is no ordinary Guide, right? – the Guide
said, "Follow me, except I must tell you one thing. And I know you've
listened closely, ladies and gentlemen," the Guide said, "to the rewards, to
the niceness of where you're going. I know you listened to that. And you
had better listen not only with equal attention, but with triple attention, to
what I'm going to tell you finally before we start out. Listen very carefully.
Now ladies and gentlemen, let's get one thing straight – absolutely and for
all straight. I am the Guide! I'll tell you what to do. I'll tell you the directions
to take. I'll teach you how to climb. I'll teach you what you should do in
order to climb better, climb higher. I'll tell you what attitudes you should
have toward the journey. I will tell you completely and exactly what you
must do in order to finally arrive on the top of the mountain."

And the Guide got a little sterner, which doesn't mean he was any less
compassionate, but because people react so mechanically to a stern face
they got a little bit frightened. But he knew human nature, he knew how to
talk to them. So he said, "Now if there is any among you who wants to
argue, don't start. If any of you know better than I do, then go on. Go on
your own. Don't come with me! Go on. You can leave right now. You can go
all alone. You can take your wife with you if you want – if she is stupid
enough to go with you. You can start right now and go your own way. Get it
straight, get it clear, and get it once and for all. I am not going to argue with
you. If you want to argue anywhere along the way, you just go ahead and
argue all you want, but you're not going to argue with me! Because you're
trying to convince me that you know better than me and I know better than
that. If you want to argue, go ahead. You go your own way – go any
direction you want."

Now the Guide said, "There are two hundred of you here. How many of you
agree to the rules and will follow exactly, precisely, without any deviation at
all, follow the path that I give you all the way." All two hundred of them
raised their hand. And you know what the Guide did? He gave a big sigh,
because he had been around – he has been around for thousands of years
and he'd seen that before. He'd given that little talk millions and millions of
times before and always two hundred people smile and raise their hand,
"Yes, I want to go." Just like some of you did. Let's see if you do.

So they started out and inevitably it happened. Because they were people
under stress having lived in that desert so long and because stress had
become a preferred way of life, at the start they began to argue in small
ways among themselves. They couldn't argue with the Guide yet because
they remembered what he had said. "Don't argue with me. There is no
argument. You argue among yourself if you want." And pretty soon two or
three of them began forming little groups and they got together and they
stood aside as they were camped for the night. And they would stand aside
and they would look at the Guide and all three or four of them would begin
to hate the Guide.

And you know what happened? On one day they lost ten of them who said,
"We know better how to get to the mountain." Next day they lost twenty
more. The next day they lost eighteen. The next day they lost twenty-six.
One man and one woman reached the top of the mountain. A hundred and
ninety-eight knew more than the Guide.

I'm talking to you. And I know you. I know every one of you in this room. I
know how you think. I never met you before. I know what you're going to
say when you leave here. I know what you've been saying as you've been
listening to this.

Shall I tell you something, quite frankly? No... I guess I will. (Laughter) I
am not talking at all to an audience. I'm talking to one or two people. Do
you want to be one of them or do you want to continue to fight and lie and
find yourself back in the desert, which is exactly what's going to happen.
And do you have the honesty and the intelligence to see that this is the way
it's always been with you?

You don't know what you walked into this afternoon. But you're beginning to
suspect it, aren't you? (Laughter) All the devils of hell are combined to keep
you from absorbing, understanding and following the truth that can lead you
out of the desert of your mind up into the mountain. And the mountain
actually exists. You don't know that yet, and don't you say you do. What you
do have is an imaginary mountain. And shall I describe what the imaginary
mountain – your imaginary mountain is like? Tomorrow you're going to get
rich, tomorrow you're going to get married, tomorrow you're going to get
un-married, and that's your idea of heaven. Marriage was heaven and now
un-marriage is heaven, right? That's your idea of true heaven.

Your imaginary mountain keeps you thirsty. Aren't you thirsty? You know
you are! You can't make up your mind about the simplest of things during
your day. You look to the news commentator on how to think about world
troubles. He tells you how to think, and you fall mechanically into the part of
you that identifies more closely with this group or that group and you say
they're right and the other side is wrong. You can't make up your mind
about anything. How would you like to be on the mountaintop where one
attribute, one quality of being on the mountaintop is that you don't have
any decisions to make at all.

I am not talking about little daily decisions on what you should serve for
dinner or where you should shop – things like that. Those obviously you
have to use your elementary intelligence to do those. How would you like to
be on the mountain where you don't have to make any decision at all about
your future?

How old are you? Say it to yourself. How old are you? You know how old you
are. How old are you? Twenty, thirty, eighty? How old? Say your age to
yourself. How would you like to not only know exactly, without thinking
about it, know what to do with the rest of your life and not only that – listen
to the beauty of this – listen to this. Not only know without thinking about it
how to live the rest of your life in peace, but to cancel out the pain from all
those stupid things you did in the past, all those wrong decisions you made,
and all those impositions I spoke of earlier in the talk. All the – you know –
all the viciousness and the cruelty that people did to you. But that's not an
excuse.

If any of you listened to the radio program that was on today you heard a
certain point which I repeat. Now I am talking to you now, not to the radio
audience. Ladies and gentlemen, please answer this question to yourself.
When are you going to grow up and be a real man, a real woman? When are
you going to stop preferring to be a little dependent child? As long as you
are a child you cannot have the rewards of being a spiritual adult. You know
it's quite proper for a little child to depend on its parents. That's fine
physically. But the trouble is most people never mature spiritually at all.
They take over all the false ideas, all the hypocritical religious notions that
have been handed to them, and they settle down with those and become
and remain religious hypocrites – people with hatred in them, people with
violence, people with self-hate.

How would you like to – how would you like to cancel the past entirely? I
don't mean the memory of it. When you are a free human being, when
you've gone to the top of the mountain, I'll tell you how your mind will
operate. You'll be able to remember all those – I'll use these words
deliberately – all those sinful, shameful, horrible things you did in the past –
remember them? Go ahead. That's all right. You can think of them. It won't
hurt you. They've been hurting you terribly in the past because you think of
them unconsciously. I invite you to think of them consciously and knowingly
to bring them up where you can see them.

How would you like to be in a situation where you can have a memory of all
those past events, but they're no longer connected with you at all? Because
you see they had no connection with you – even at that time, but at that
time you didn't know it because you identified with everything you said. You
said, "My mother was so vicious to me and my father beat me. Beat me." It
happened! Certainly it happened as a physical expression and as an amount
of energy, misused of course.

Let's see how much you can understand with the following statement? That
vicious thing never ever happened to you at all. Furthermore, you yourself
never in your whole life ever committed a single sin. You've never in your
life done anything evil, and as a matter of fact you never will, because there
is no entity there, no self there who can either do good things or bad things.
Ah, I wonder if there is one person in this room who was watching his mind
at the moment I said that and saw how you objected to that. Objected to it?
Every – every force inside of you fiercely screamed out against that being a
fact, because you want to be either one, don't you? You want to be a saint
or a sinner. You want to be a good person or if you can't be a good person
then be a bad person – which criminals do, chronic criminals do. "I'm bad."
That's their identity. But you found out that it is better to be a big faker and
call yourself good and understanding and religious and all that because
there are certain advantages.

You tell me – you tell me, ladies and gentlemen, what advantages you find
in being a coward? I know what you are like. I know what you're doing and I
do know this too. Thank heaven for this. I know if you will examine your life
closely enough and see where you have argued with the Guide because you
know better – and if you can see how you always, always, always a
thousand times, ten thousand times, fifty thousand times, go right back to
the thirsty desert – if you can see what you're doing to yourself, against
yourself, and have the courage and the decency and the honesty to say, "I
am not going. God help me, I am not going back to that desert anymore."
And that is a beautiful prayer.

You know, you don't have to analyze prayer and answer prayer. All you have
to do is collapse – that is a prayer. When your egotism begins to break
down, when your pretense – any of you who go out of here – I'm going to
warn you people of something. You better listen to me. I am talking to you
now. This is not in the story. I am talking to you seated right here in this
hall here right now. You had better not commit blasphemy when you go out
of here. If you sneer and you reject what you've heard here today you are
committing blasphemy against God Almighty. And you know something
else? You know it. Because every single one of you in this room sense – you
don't know – you sense, you feel that you've heard the pure truth that can
rescue you here today. You know it in a sense that you are sensing it,
feeling it.

If you go out of here and you reject what you've heard, I will – I will predict
your future perfectly and you can do the same thing. You're going to get
scareder as you grow older. You're going to be terrified of what the future is
going to bring you. Now look please, because our time is running out. All it
takes is one ounce of willingness, one ounce of intelligence to say, "What
sense does it make to be sick? It makes no sense at all to be spiritually sick.
In fact, it's awfully stupid." You want to be a truly intelligent human being?
Ponder all these things that you've heard here today. Take them inside as
best you can. You're not expected to be a spiritual genius overnight! You've
been building up your neurosis for forty, fifty years. Say to yourself, "I am"
– listen to this. This is a good one. Listen to this. "I am sick and tired of
arguing with myself and always losing the argument." You stop arguing and
it will put great fear in you at the start, because this is the disillusion of the
ego self. As you, the ego self, begins to dissolve, the fear also goes because
it was based in the ego self, and you will see yourself change right in front
of your own eyes. And you will begin to understand what it means to take
one step up the mountainside, one step at a time where it is cool and
pretty and green. And you are out! Absolutely out of this insane society. You
are out of it while in it physically. You have nothing to do with it. Absolutely
nothing.

Sure, you go down to work and you're married and you have your wife and
children and you drive your car and all that. You'll understand perfectly that
you're no longer a part of the madness and the sickness and the viciousness
and the cruelty of this world, because you had the courage to give up your
own cruelty, your own viciousness, and God gave you something quite
different. And you live very quietly and you live everlastingly with that –
with that newness, with that new life.

Do take a break and we'll come back for open discussion later. (Applause)
[Note: The audience questions have been modified for clarity and only
Vernon's comments have been transcribed.]
We'll get to the questions in just a minute, but a preliminary point please. To
argue against the truth is a severe malicious problem, but it is not the
principal problem. The principal problem is for the individual to not know, to
not see, to not admit that he argues against the truth that can rescue him
from himself. Now take a look at the difference. Now all of you will admit
that you have great negativities in you, you're depressed and you think
cruel thoughts toward the driver who speeds in front of you or something
like that. You have all these negativities inside you. And you know you have
them. That is not the problem! The problem is – the main problem – the
main problem is that you – you don't know how to be honest! You have lied
all your life about what you're like, about what life is like, what reality is
like. You've lied so long and so hard that you've become indeed hardened
inside yourself – a block of steel for a brain.

Now you can never change yourself unless you break down and admit that
you lie! And the variety of lies are endless. I want to give you an example of
it. In one of the notes that was given to me which I've seen – believe me –
by literal count thousands and thousands of times the very same type of
cunning lie by one of you out there. And the lie said, "Are you – do you say
you're the only man who knows the truth?" Something like that. And I'll say
it in several ways because it's a variety of lies in that very one itself. "How
do you know that you know what you are talking about? Are you the only
one who knows? Why do you set yourself up as an authority?" And believe
me, all of us, Murray and his group and the rest of them, have heard that
ten thousand times.

Now look at it. Now look at it. A person sits here and hears a talk, a
beautiful talk! – not because it's me – but because it's true! And it can
change you! And I warned you. I warned some of you stupid people what
would happen and you did not listen to me because you don't have the
intelligence to listen. I warned you against committing blasphemy.
But let's get a little closer to home here. When you challenge truth, who is
challenging it? Can't you understand that when you're in a sour, angry,
sneering attitude, can't you see that that is a lie that is killing you? Now I
want to tell you something that very, very few human beings can
understand, even our own group up in Boulder City, Nevada. But you – you
add this to it because if you see this, oh, you'll go fast up that mountain.
The vast majority of human beings on earth – billions of them – have
become lovers of hell instead of lovers of peace and truth. They have
become hardened into sneering, into arguing, into fighting because that is
what they – the kind of a life they prefer to freedom. But, if you can believe
it, they call their slavery freedom. "I have a right to say what I want to say.
I can do anything I want to do. Who are you to tell me what to do?"
That poor, pathetic, lost, stupid, ignorant, self-destructive, vicious, malicious
human being. Oh, you had better listen to me. Listen to me. Remember
what I told you what that Guide said? The Guide said, "Look, if you want to
argue go ahead and argue. You're not going to argue with me. The
reason–'cause I understand you, I know the reason you're arguing–because
you're an agent of hell. And I know why you are doing that. You hope to try
to prove that your lie is the truth, and you'll kill yourself trying to do it and
you'll never succeed."

Now an individual who is a lover of hell can be helped because many of you
are, by the way – in fact, all of you are to one degree or another – can be
helped if you'll do one thing – if you will simply not be afraid to give yourself
up. You are the lie. You are the destruction. You are the viciousness. You are
the hatred. You are the murderer. That's the only identity you have and it is
a false identity, it's not real at all. Remember me telling you that you are
neither good nor evil? Remember me saying that? So if I, if I ball you out –
to put it mildly – you'll say, "Okay, so I'm evil. At least I'm somebody."
You incredibly ignorant, imbecilic human being. You are getting exactly what
you are praying for. You are getting yourself. God have mercy on you. And
by the way, he won't, because you have not permitted him to do so.
Question to all of you here: do you have the honesty to see you're arguing
and trying to knock down the truth that's being presented here? I'd better
tell you something. You are wasting your time. And you are going to destroy
yourself in the process. But if you are a permanent lover of hell then, of
course, you have no business even being in this room. You go back – you go
back to the desert that you have preferred, and you will. You'll go back to it.
You've been given a choice today all of you.

What are you going to do when you leave here? Let me tell you what's going
to happen. When you go out that door all the dark forces inside of you are
going to start screaming, "Don't you pay attention. Don't you listen to, and
don't you follow." And you are one of the hundred ninety-eight who didn't
make it to the mountaintop. I am saying this to give you a chance! Now you
don't know what that chance is, but I am telling you where to start and how
to start. You must! – you must keep in association with these truths, with
the classes here or with the books or with the tapes or whatever. You must
keep in association with truth, otherwise the devil is too much for you. He
has been!

Describe your life. Go ahead. Describe your life! It's a horror story, isn't it?
It can be changed if you can do one thing. And to this person who wrote this
note and to all the rest of you who have said the same thing. Can you look
at yourself while you're sneering, can you look at yourself while you're going
like that with tensed fists, can you look at yourself while asking sacrilegious
questions in notes and verbally? Can you look at yourself and say, "You
know, that's right. I am a human horror show sneering at the truth which I
sensed here in this room." If you can do that, God will save you from the
one thing you need saving from which is your own miserable, wretched,
devilish nature. Only God can rescue you from yourself. He will do it if you
permit it. It all depends on your decision, what you do with what you heard
here today.

Now I will take spoken questions for a while please. And do keep them short
and to the point. And do relate them to something we have talked about.
And if I don't hear the question or all of it I will ask Guy to repeat it to me
please. Please raise your hand one at a time, please. And do keep it one
question at a time, not two parts and so on.

Q. Earlier you said the first thing you must do is come back to all these
lectures. Providing we do that, what is the second thing that we must do?
A. Be receptive.
Q. Vernon, where have you studied to get some of this data that
you've been teaching people for a number of years?
A. Oh, I get so many easy questions. (Laughter) I studied myself.
Q. Provided that we are receptive to what you are saying, how come
it is so hard then to follow the truth. Even though you know it is the truth.
[The question was summarized to the following:] Provided that we've done
the second step which is to be receptive, how is it that we can keep going?
How do we take the next step and the next step. How do we work on
ourselves?
A. You see, your old nature, your conditioned nature, the negative nature
wants nothing to do with what you're hearing here. Now if you become
aware of that, that very awareness is a weakening of it. You know what the
word "displacement" means? If you take – if you take the junk out of the
cupboard and throw it out, then the cupboard is – there is room for
something new in the cupboard, is that not right? Yes. The same way
spiritually. If you simply see how negative you are, how you argue, how you
fight, if you see how afraid you are, if you can honestly admit it, that's the
first ray of light that begins to dissolve the fear which centers around the
ego self.
I will absolutely guarantee you something and I will put it in a
little mathematical way that will make it very clear to you. If you are now
one hundred percent negative and you've been receptive to what you've
heard here today, you have one tenth of one percent of a positive, a
genuinely spiritual, positive attitude. And you'll be able to feel that because
it will feel different from the rest of you. It's like a ray of light is different
from the darkness. You continue to be receptive – it will be two tenths of
one percent, three tenths and on and on and on over a period of many,
many years. Don't you delay another day. Don't you go out of here and start
talking about reincarnation or something else like that. You, you, you have a
chance now! How many of you want to repeat the same wretched life over
again anyway? (Laughter)
Q. Mr. Howard, you said that you are a guide. Is this a guide with a capital
G and can we trust you one hundred percent?
A. Now look. Every single one of you in this room knows you heard the
truth. You know it. You know you haven't been lied to, you haven't been
coddled, you haven't been told all sorts of nonsense that flatters your ego.
You haven't been told that you are okay as you are. You're not okay. You're
a mess and you know it. Don't you know it? Then didn't I tell you the truth
about yourself? Then did we not switch over to the other side and say there
is a chance for a human being who wants to be decent but who presently
can't because his old conditioning is too much for him? Because – because
too much of your father is still living in you, and your mother. You know how
sick your parents were. You know how sick they were! You lived in that
home! You saw them lie and cheat and you saw them wreck you.
Now do you want to be a decent parent and not pass that on to
your children? Do you have any decency at all that you are not going to
wreck your children? Then be a student of truth so you won't hurt them,
you'll give them something genuine and right. And by the way, you wreck
your children – they hate you. You really want to be loved? See that there is
no one there to be loved and there will be love. Now figure that one out.
Q. The inner work that we have to do is something that we really don't
know anything about yet, isn't it?
A. You know that something has to be done, but you don't know whether
to use a pick or a shovel or a spoon or a fork. (Laughter) We'll teach you
which tool to use. Starting – you know what the first tool is? And there is no
other first tool: self-honesty. If you're a liar and want to stay a liar, then get
up and walk out right now. There's no place for you in this room. I mean it
seriously. Get up and walk out. You're poisoning the atmosphere. Not really,
you can only poison yourself, but you understand.
Q. Is there a relationship between dishonesty and fear?
A. Very much so. When you lie you tremble. Well look, find out for yourself
even in ordinary things, ordinary life. When you lie about your age don't you
tremble a little bit that they are going to find you out? (Laughter). How
many of you lie about your age?
Q. Mr. Howard why is that so few people will accept these teachings, these
truths?
A. They don't accept it because they have not been – listen to this – they
have not been called. You can choose – shhh, slow down – you can choose
to be called.
Q. I can perceive that there is truth in how it comes across to me in what
you are saying. There are other groups which I can perceive truth too. How
can I choose? What results do you achieve? [Guy repeats the question] The
man says that he can perceive that there are truths being given here. He
also says that he can perceive truths being given at other groups where he
is. He wants to know how is it that he can know that this is right and how to
get something from it.
A. Want it more than you want anything else in your life. And you will be
able to recognize the truth wherever it is and wherever it isn't. What do you
want? What do you put first in your life? Any of you? What do you put first?
Tonight's dinner? (Laughter). How many – I am serious – how many have
been thinking about your dinner at any time? And they were all Boulder City
people. (Laughter).
Q. On the Michael Brenner show this morning on the interview you said
you are not what you see. Can you elaborate on that please?
A. Yes. You all have self-views of yourselves, self-pictures, and they are
either flattering or condemning. You look at yourself, you see something –
an action – or you see a thought, and you either approve of it and you say,
"Ah, I am marvelous" or you say, "I am terrible." You are not what you see,
either negative or positive, and we just covered that in a slightly different
version a little bit ago. You are never what you see because what you see is
based on idea, on thought, a concept, and you are not your thoughts, you
are not your concepts, you are not your feelings. You're something apart
from them which you don't understand yet. But you first have to see what
you are not. And you are not, for example, do you know – isn't this good
news? Do you know that you're not a trembling human being who has to be
worried over your future? Shall I tell you something? You don't have any
future in reality. You don't have to have a future when you're living in truth.
Only the petty little worried little ego self – "Am I going to get a raise? Am I
going to get that woman? Am I going to be honored by my children?" Why
don't you try something right now. Why don't you try living right now
instead of letting your mind tear you back into thoughts, into time, thinking
about yourself according to your conditions, according to those things that
were done against you, for example. And so you think you have to protect
yourself. And you – you have a right to assault other people just like they
assaulted you. Oh, what a miserable life that is. Want to cancel the whole
thing? See what it means to live above the intellect. Now don't ask what it's
like. There is one way to find out: climb the mountain. Everybody down in
the desert says – everyone crowds around the Guide. "Please tell me what
the mountain is like? Do I get what I want up there?" Do you know what the
Guide would say to that? When you get up in the mountain you won't want
what you now want. Thank Heaven for that. Your wants are killing you.
Q. Every time I hear you or read one of your books I get high and very
enthusiastic about my life. Then I'd like to know how I can keep that high
enthusiasm on a regular basis. [Guy repeats] The lady says that every time
she hears you speak, every time she reads one of your books she becomes
very enriched, enthusiastic about the truth. She wants to know how do I
keep that going because it goes away?
A. Read more often. (Laughter)
Q. Vernon Howard, the concept of honesty... why is it that an individual
hears the truth, accepts, starts taking action upon it, everything else seems
to get worse? [Guy repeats] The lady wants to know why is it that the
concept of honesty when a person sees it, takes it in and starts to really
work with it, why does everything get worse?
A. Oh, because you are seeing what a maniac you always were! You are
not seeing something new. You've seen something that was in you since you
were five years old and ten years old. You know – you know there is nothing
worse in this world than a junior-high school kid? How many of you where
once a junior-high school kid? (Laughter). Pretty grim, right? How many of
you are junior-high school kids grown up to six feet? You know, we look in
horror at what we really are. And please, when you go out of here or do it
now maybe, make a note, mental or on a piece of paper, make a mental
note of a point that was covered earlier. I am not what I see – good or bad.
Write it, never forget it, or you'll identify with it or you'll say, "I am
wretched. I'm just as mean as I was in the eighth grade." You weren't even
mean then, you were taken over by negative unconscious forces. They were
mean, but you are not your emotions. You are not anything that lives in
time. If you are anything that lives in time then you have no future at all
because thoughts come and go. Who are you going to be – I gave this
recently up in Boulder City. When your mind no longer functions, when you
no longer have a physical mind to identify with, how are you going to keep
yourself going? If the mind isn't recreating, "I'm a genius. I'm a great
provider. I'm a marvelous mother," and that is no longer functioning, how
are you going to know who you are? You never did know; you just called
yourself names. When you see that your true identity is above name –
calling, above labels, above the intellect, you will know who you are without
thinking about it, without having ideas about it. As long as you have ideas
about who you are, you are deceiving yourself because you don't want to
take the leap into something much higher than your present labels.
Q. Let's say I got to the mountain. I'm up on top. How do I tolerate what I
was?
A. Oh please, climb the mountain and all questions will be answered.
Q. A person's name has nothing to do with being called. [Guy repeats] He
wants to know if a person's name has nothing to do with whether they're
called or not.
A. It has nothing whatever to do with anything except what I'm going to
call you for dinner or something like that. Alright, the next meeting is at five
o'clock. Good afternoon. (Applause)

My magic friend ;)

Lead me from dreaming to waking.
Lead me from opacity to clarity.
Lead me from the complicated to the simple.
Lead me from the obscure to the obvious.
Lead me from intention to attention.
Lead me from what I'm told I am to what I see I am.
Lead me from confrontation to wide openness.
Lead me to the place I never left,
Where there is peace, and peace
- The Upanishads

*note* Roxette"s joyride...no comments.Cos it all begins when it ends
And we're all magic friends

She says: Hello, you fool, I love you
C'mon join the joyride, be a joyrider..
-added by danny-
......................


I hit the road out of nowhere
I had to jump in my car
And be a rider in a love game
Following the stars
Don't need no book of wisdom
I get no money talk at all
She has a train going downtown
She's got a club on the moon
And she's telling all her secrets
In a wonderful ballon
Oh she's the heart of the funfair
She's got me whistling on her private tune

And it all begins where it ends
And we're all magic friends....

She says: Hello, you fool, I love you
C'mon join the joyride, join the joyride

Let me tell you your life's story

Lead me from dreaming to waking.
Lead me from opacity to clarity.
Lead me from the complicated to the simple.
Lead me from the obscure to the obvious.
Lead me from intention to attention.
Lead me from what I'm told I am to what I see I am.
Lead me from confrontation to wide openness.
Lead me to the place I never left,
Where there is peace, and peace
- The Upanishads

*note* Vernon tells you your life's story...marvelous story...more stories at http://lifewithvernonhoward.com/transcripts/
-added by danny-
..........................
There Are Experiences; There's Life.
They Have Nothing In Common
A talk by Vernon Howard given on 07-07-84
Let me tell you your life's story, which is no life at all as yet. Let's say you
were six years old, and you were out playing in the front yard on the
sidewalk, and you were chasing a ball, and you ran into an obstacle and fell
down and hurt yourself and started crying. And a neighbor happened to
come along and see and heard you crying there and hurt a little bit –
skinned knee. And he – this man, neighbor, came over and took you by the
shoulder and kind of gently led you up the steps to where your mother was.
And she came out and thanked the man, and you went in and your tears
stopped for a while.

A week later you were having dinner around the family table, and your
father remarked to your mother about this neighbor. And what you heard as
you were half eating with half interest there at the table – what you heard
out of the corner of your ear, because you were thinking about playing, you
heard your father tell your mother that this man who had brought you to
the door had just been arrested for being in a big fight down at the bar in
which he had severely injured, pummeled, another man. So the man who
helped you is now under arrest. And you understood what that meant. That
the police took him away – in handcuffs. That experience became a part of
your experience.

You're now fifteen years old, and one day you and a gang of other boys
were down at the lake. Seven, eight of you. And they suddenly dare you,
after being there for a while and splashing around and having fun, all of a
sudden they dare you to swim out to that raft out in the middle of the lake.
And how many of you have ever been fifteen? All right. When someone
challenges you and says, "You can't do that," you immediately say, "Oh,
yes, I can." Right? No intelligence at all. Just the stupid reaction, "Yes, I
can."

So you say, "Yes, I can swim out to that raft and back." And they nag you
and say, "No, you can't." And you say, "Yes, I can." And they say, "Prove it."
Ah, now you're in trouble, huh? You didn't know – nobody knows at fifteen –
what their vanity and boasting gets them into. What this need is to protect
your picture of yourself as being a succeeder. We don't realize where the lies
about ourselves lead us. Some people never learn when they're a lot older
than that. Most people don't learn. Anyway, you say, "I'll prove it. Sure, I
can swim out to the raft and back."

And so they kind of stand as one group together. They're kind of in a
conspiracy against you, but you don't know that. And so you go down –
worried, huh? whether you're going to make it or not? That raft is out there
quite a ways, and you're not the world's greatest swimmer. No Johnny
Weissmuller. So you start out and, oh, what conflict. You don't want to go,
but now you have to go. Right? The old slave driver of having bragged about
being able to do it, now you can't break that word. Because you think your
"I" is invested in it. So you – with great fear and trembling, you go out and
you start swimming out there.

Oh, what an ordeal that was for you to swim out to that raft. And you feel
that you're not going to make it several times. You're not a good swimmer
at all. You lose your breath, and you even – two or three times you feel the
water come above your head once or twice, but you manage to come up,
and you manage to get out there. And you climb up on the raft.

And now for your sweet-sour experience which you anticipate as you climb
up on the raft – to turn around and give them a big smiling wave, right? And
you do that, and you get up there and turn towards shore to give the big
victorious wave, and they're gone. They've deserted you. They took off.
They played a trick on you. Now it's even worse than before. How are you
going to get back? At least when they were there, there's some hope
someone might come out and help you, but now there isn't. You stay there
for a half hour. And you sit down and worry about it. Sit down on the edge
of the raft and worry about it, hoping they might come back. It's getting
dark. You know they're not going to come back. You finally force yourself
back into the water and manage by some way to get on back to shore. Oh,
what an experience, huh?

And here's the worst part of it. Because when you're fifteen, you don't know
very much. You had all bitterness and anger at yourself and at them for
putting you through that ordeal. And the next day when you see them at
school, you wave at them as if you're still friends with them. The fakery has
set in, hasn't it? And the – oh, yes, and the self-hatred of your own
weakness is there. When we're weak, we sense it, don't we? All right. That
was an experience. Now, I'm leading up to an extremely vital point for you.
That experience goes into your memory box.

You're now twenty-two, and you meet that nice girl. You've been eyeing her
at a distance and wondering how you're ever going to get to talk to her. And
she's given you a couple glances. But you manage to talk to her, and you
get acquainted, and you get to liking each other a little bit. And you make
such great plans for the future. And then, after a few romantic evenings –
you don't know what happened – nobody ever knows what happens to
them. All they know – the event happened, but there's no comprehension of
the why and how in back of it. It just faded out. You just saw less and less
of each other. No big quarrels even; it just faded out. She went one way and
you went another way. And that went into your memory box of experiences.

Now, I've given you these examples, and you can find hundreds of your
own, can you not? Here is the almighty point for you to seize upon which is
experience is not life. Your accumulated experiences of hearing your father
tell you about the man who was arrested – and you didn't quite know what
to do with it and so you didn't do anything with it – the experience of those
boys tricking you and then you going back and smiling at them and the
awful fear of being out in that water all alone, all that went into experience.
And then with the girl a little bit later, all these added up. In your
misconception, you call them your life. You didn't understand the wrong turn
you made after each one of these – not just three but hundreds of various
events and experiences.

Unknown to you, you did go in the wrong internal direction so that they
became hardened. And from that point on, unknown to yourself, twenty-four
hours a day you referred to all these sad, sometimes happy, sometimes
confusing experiences – you referred to them as your life – as things,
events, sadnesses and gladnesses – you referred to them as things that
happened to you.

Wrong. Nothing happened to your real life, but you don't know the
difference between accumulated experiences and true life. Therefore, you
couldn't distinguish clearly and understand what was happening to you. So
you made the mistake, which everyone makes, of referring to all past
events, referring to them as your experiences, your events, your life, as
things that happen to you! All right.

Nothing ever happened to you! What happened is that you heard your
parents discussing the man who was arrested, you went through the
experience of being out in that deep water, you had the experience of
meeting the girl, and that is all that happened. There was no you-formation
at all. The world should hear this talk. I want you to hear it and understand
it so you can begin to melt down the hardened block of ice that you now
think is you because you made the error of thinking that an experience is a
self. It is not. An experience is just an experience, in time. There is feeling,
and there's reactions, and there are hatreds, and there are what you call
loves, but they are not an accumulation of a real self.

To see this is bad news for your old nature but terrifically marvelous news
for the emerging light-self because you can now see what it means to allow
yourself to be melted down every minute by taking all present experiences
as right. And when you do that, the knowledge and insight of taking a
present experience right – that is, without you – that will be the light that
shines on the three experiences at home, in the lake, and with the girl, and
they will indeed melt so that there is no longer an entity connected with the
experiences. Because you understand that something happened, but
nothing happened to you because there was no you there, no real you
there, to accumulate. All accumulations of experience which you take as
being exciting or sad or whatever – all experiences are simply a passing
event. Something that arises – you know about it, and you can remember
about it, and it fades away.

And everyone – everyone makes the mistake of
adding an "I" to experience, and there is your sorrow, there is your lack of
intelligence, there is the intense confusion of always asking, "What should I
do with this event?"

Never ask, "What should I do with this present event or experience?" You
don't have to. If there was no inquirer there, no desperate seeker there,
asking, "What should I do about this financial condition? What should I do
about this news I heard that threatens my respectability?" If there was no
inquirer, asker, there, there would be no problem. But you made the mistake
when you were five, fifteen and twenty-two, and you're continuing it, and
you ask, "What should I do?" which means you'll never know what to do
because the whole thing is a batch, a sack, a sack full of illusion. Nothing
real is happening.

Now, this is what it means to give away your old life, to let it fade away, to
no longer increase it, add to it, no longer accumulate. When you know that
you are not who you think about, talk about, worry about – when you know
that, then you're living in the present, free moment. And that present, free
moment, that free nature that you have, has no need for accumulation, no
need to connect with events and get a thrill from it or a pain from it. It has
no need for that because it's complete in itself.

It is the accumulated self which is built out of your experiences that has
always puzzled, always worried as to what to do. If by a great astounding
miracle you were all to wake up right now and drop the block of ice, drop
past delusions about experiences being your life, if you were able to drop
that right now, you could then go out of this door and nothing will dismay
you.

You don't know the boldness that you'll have. You don't know the – oh,
listen to this phrase. Write it down. Casual courage. Casual courage. You
don't have to think about it. There's no past. You never have to ask, "What
should I do next?" You never have to ask, "What did I do in the past so I
can use that as a reference for doing now." That's the last thing you want to
do is to ask yourself what to do because you did something in the past. You
know how you have betrayed yourself by looking back to the past
experiences and saying, "Well, I'd better do what I did before."

See, there is no repetition in nowness. There is no false memory in living in
your true nature which is not an accumulation but which is a free,
independent, very courageous and very confident new identity. There are
experiences; there's Life with a capital L. They have nothing in common.
You create the experiences; God has already created Life. You get rid of
your experiences that gives you an identity, and God will give you the true
identity of Life. Do not try to know who you are by thinking about it in any
way at all. You will never know who you really are if you accept the foolish,
treacherous substitute of a thought-self.

All right. Now, there is a weakness in all human beings which you recognize
somewhat, a little bit, which is the weakness of always excusing your
behavior. Always excusing your behavior, and always associating with other
people who will also excuse you, which is like a pack of wolves getting
together to excuse each other for attacking the farmer's chicken pen.
Negative emotions such as self-excuse run in packs. And this is why you see
nothing but this wolf-like behavior out in the world where everyone is an
attacker. All lost people are attackers. And you – you have determined not
to be lost, so you now must also determine that you're never going to –
you're never going to excuse anything wrong that you're able to detect in
yourself. You're going to grow up. Oh, it's going to – it's going to shame
you, yes. It's going to embarrass you.

What have I been telling you the last twenty minutes about? Whenever you
see a weakness in you and want the tendency to excuse it instead of facing
it, aren't you referring to the past? Aren't you – aren't you still worshipping
that idol called "me"? Aren't you protecting something? Aren't you
protecting – aren't you protecting the source of your self-torment? Yes.


If you avoid the pain, you will continue the pain. If you go through the pain,
never escaping, never excusing – if you will go through it – which means
staying with it until something cracks – until something happens – a positive
crack. Going through the pain means that you understand that you are not
even your own weakness.


See, we have to use words to explain the best we can, so if I say you're
weak, that's okay. That's fine. You have to do that. But you know what you
do? I'm telling you, you don't know what you do. You glorify your weakness.
You excuse your weakness. There is no excuse for being weak because
cosmic confidence is available. Right now! The detective has to enter the
picture. And let's see if we can track it down a little bit.

Wanting – wanting another person to be your strength is a weak excuse.

Wanting your own thoughts about your past life to be a source of guidance
is cowardice. Wanting any kind of a hero at all, wanting anything outside of
yourself, is a sign of weakness and a sign that you are eager to find excuses
for yourself. Excuses for not doing the true work.
Now, I have given you something that you can do. And I'll tell you in the
couple minutes we have left how to encourage yourself. Right
encouragement to not excuse yourself for the work that you have to do. For
example, setting the block of ice called you out into the warm sun to where
Truth can melt it down. Every time you get melted down, a little bit of the
hardness and bitterness and worry falls away. There is really nothing to
worry about. There is really nothing to worry about.

But you want
something to worry about so that there will be someone to worry about.

There's no person there at all. You're worrying about a delusion. You're
worrying about someone who doesn't exist. See that. All right.
Do you know what it means the last straw? The last straw. All right. You
know the story. The farmer – the farmer is bringing his load of straw to
town. And he had a lot of straw but only one horse. So he put all the straw
on. But he wanted to be very efficient. So he said, "Well, maybe one more
straw. And the horse can carry that, and I'll get more to market and make
more money." Then he said, "One more straw, one more straw, one more
straw," until finally the horse collapsed, right? The last straw the horse
collapsed and refused to go along with it anymore.

Have you reached the last straw yet? The last straw of your piling all this
junk on your own back? Why don't you collapse and refuse to go along. I tell
you, part of your definite spiritual experience will be several last straws.
Maybe hundreds of them for that matter. Where all of a sudden you knew
you were not going to repeat anymore, you were never going to be weak
again toward that person that you fawned before, where something in you –
the last straw consciousness came to you, and you knew absolutely – you
knew in your heart that you had made an enormous advancement. That you
are not going to be weak toward that person anymore. When that other
person made a sarcastic, critical remark to you, you knew you weren't going
to smile weakly back anymore and take it.
Stop taking it! Don't take it! That – sir, that relative is the last straw. The
divine fierceness will shine through your eyes, will sound in your voice, will
express itself in your now-nature, and they won't dare treat you that way
anymore. And you have no hostility toward them. You have found something
better than the hostility which you've been using all these years. What
you've found, by no longer excusing yourself – what you've found is that
you don't have to take it anymore because God says so, and that is who
you're listening to from now on.

I love you because you are my self

Lead me from dreaming to waking.
Lead me from opacity to clarity.
Lead me from the complicated to the simple.
Lead me from the obscure to the obvious.
Lead me from intention to attention.
Lead me from what I'm told I am to what I see I am.
Lead me from confrontation to wide openness.
Lead me to the place I never left,
Where there is peace, and peace
- The Upanishads

*note* more sufi wisdom:)
-added by danny-
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Love brought man from the world of unity to that of variety, and the same force can take him back again to the world of unity from the world of variety.

Bowl of Saki, by Hazrat Inayat Khan

Commentary by Pir-o-Murshid Inayat Khan:

Sufis take the course of love and devotion to accomplish their highest aim, because it is love which has brought man from the world of unity to the world of variety, and the same force can take him back again to the world of unity from that of variety.

Love is the reduction of the universe to the single being,
and the expansion of a single being, even to God. (Balzac)

Love is that state of mind in which the consciousness of the lover is merged in that of the object of his love; it produces in the lover all the attributes of humanity, such as resignation, renunciation, humility, kindness, contentment, patience, virtue, calmness, gentleness, charity, faithfulness, bravery, by which the devotee becomes harmonized with the Absolute. As one of God's beloved, a path is opened for his heavenly journey: at the end he arrives at oneness with God, and his whole individuality is dissolved in the ocean of eternal bliss where even the conception of God and man disappears.

from http://wahiduddin.net/mv2/V/V_1.htm


Seeing the nature and character of life the Sufi says that it is not very important to distinguish between two opposites. What is most important is to recognize that One which is hiding behind it all. Naturally after realizing life the Sufi climbs the ladder which leads him to unity, to the idea of unity which comes through the synthesis of life, by seeing One in all things, in all beings. ... in whatever age the wise were born, they have always believed the same: that behind all is oneness, and in the understanding of that oneness is wisdom. A person who awakens to the spirit of unity, a person who sees the oneness behind all things - his point of view becomes different and his attitude therefore changes. He no longer says to his friend, 'I love you because you are my friend'; he says, 'I love you because you are my self'.

from http://wahiduddin.net/mv2/XIV/XIV_2_12.htm



~~~ Love brought man from the world of unity to that of variety, and the same force can take him back again to the world of unity from the world of variety.

ESSENTIALS OF PRACTICE AND ENLIGHTENMENT

Lead me from dreaming to waking.
Lead me from opacity to clarity.
Lead me from the complicated to the simple.
Lead me from the obscure to the obvious.
Lead me from intention to attention.
Lead me from what I'm told I am to what I see I am.
Lead me from confrontation to wide openness.
Lead me to the place I never left,
Where there is peace, and peace
- The Upanishads

*note* this Master Han-shan Te-ching [1546-1623] explains well...from the ,Wanderling, site...thank you wanderling...I could write a book explaining Han-shan from the sahaja yoga point of view,but maybe sometime I'll do it...that dude knew the truth,trust me.
-added by danny-
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ESSENTIALS OF PRACTICE AND ENLIGHTENMENT
FOR BEGINNERS

By Master Han-shan Te-ching [1546-1623]
Translation by Guo-gu Shi Presented by:
the Wanderling

Zen master Han-shan Te-ching (Hanshan Deqing) is considered one of the four most eminent Buddhist monks in the late Ming Dynasty [1368-1644] partly for his social-political interactions with Ming court, interpretation of Buddhist texts, and most importantly, for his Chan practice.

I. How to Practice and Reach Enlightenment

Concerning the causes and condition of this Great Matter, [this Buddha-nature] is intrinsically within everyone; as such, it is already complete within you, lacking nothing. The difficulty is that, since time without beginning, seeds of passion, deluded thinking, emotional conceptualizations, and deep-rooted habitual tendencies have obscured this marvelous luminosity. You cannot genuinely realize it because you have being wallowing in remnant deluded thoughts of body, mind, and the world, discriminating and musing [about this and that]. For these reason you have been roaming in the cycle of birth and death [endlessly]. Yet, all Buddhas and ancestral masters have appeared in the world using countless words and expedient means to expound on Chan and to clarify the doctrine. Following and meeting different dispositions [of sentient being], all of these expedient means are like tools to crush our mind of clinging and realize that originally there is no real substantiality to "dharmas" or [the sense of] "self."

What is commonly known as practice means simply to accord with [whatever state] of mind you’re in so as to purify and relinquish the deluded thoughts and traces of your habit tendencies. Exerting your efforts here is called practice. If within a single moment deluded thinking suddenly ceases, [you will] thoroughly perceive your own mind and realize that it is vast and open, bright and luminous—intrinsically perfect and complete. This state, being originally pure, devoid of a single thing, is called Enlightenment. Apart from this mind, there is no such thing as cultivation or Enlightenment. The essence of your mind is like a mirror and all the traces of deluded thoughts and clinging to conditions are defiling dust of the mind. Your conception of appearances is this dust and your emotional consciousness is the defilement. If all the deluded thoughts melt away, the intrinsic essence will reveal in its own accord. It’s like when the defilement is polished away, the mirror regains its clarity. It is the same with Dharma.

However, our habit, defilement, and self-clinging accumulated throughout eons have become solid and deep-rooted. Fortunately, through the condition of having the guidance of a good spiritual friend, our internal prajna as a cause can influence our being so this inherent prajna can be augmented. Having realized that [prajna] is inherent in us, we will be able to arouse the [Bodhi-] mind and steer our direction toward the aspiration of relinquishing [the cyclic existence of] birth and death. This task of uprooting the roots of birth and death accumulated through innumerable eons all at once is a subtle matter. If you are not someone with great strength and ability brave enough to shoulder such a burden and to cut through directly [to this matter] without the slightest hesitation, then [this task] will be extremely difficult. An ancient one has said, "This matter is like one person confronting ten thousand enemies." These are not false words.

II. The Entrance to Practice and Enlightenment

Generally speaking, in this Dharma-ending-age, there are more people who practice than people who truly have realization. There are more people who waste their efforts than those who derive power. Why is this? They do not exert their effort directly and do not know the shortcut. Instead, many people merely fill their minds with past knowledge of words and language based on what they have heard, or they measure things by means of their emotional discriminations, or they suppress deluded thoughts, or they dazzle themselves with visionary astonishment at their sensory gates. These people dwell on the words of the ancient ones in their minds and take them to be real. Furthermore, they cling to these words as their own view. Little do they know that none of these are the least bit useful. This is what is called, "grasping at other’s understanding and clouding one’s own entrance to Enlightenment."

In order to engage in practice, you must first sever knowledge and understanding and single-mindedly exert all of your efforts on one thought. Have a firm conviction in your own [true] mind that, originally it is pure and clear, without the slightest lingering thing—it is bright and perfect and it pervades throughout the Dharmadhatu. Intrinsically, there is no body, mind, or world, nor are there any deluded thoughts and emotional conceptions. Right at this moment, this single thought is itself unborn! Everything that manifests before you now are illusory and insubstantial—all of which are reflections projected from the true mind. Work in such a manner to crush away [all your deluded thoughts]. You should fixate [your mind] to observe where the thoughts arise from and where they cease. If you practice like this, no matter what kinds of deluded thoughts arise, one smash and they will all be crushed to pieces. All will dissolve and vanish away. You should never follow or perpetuate deluded thoughts. Master Yongjia has admonished, "One must sever the mind [that desires] continuation." This is because the illusory mind of delusion is originally rootless. You should never take a deluded thought as real and try to hold on to it in your heart. As soon as it arises notice it right away. Once you notice it, it will vanish. Never try to suppress thoughts but allow thoughts to be as you watch a gourd floating on water.

Put aside your body, mind, and world and simply bring forth this single thought [of method] like a sword piercing through the sky. Whether a Buddha or a Mara appears, just cut them off like a snarl of entangled silk thread. Use all your effort and strength patiently to push your mind to the very end. What is known as, "a mind that maintains the correct thought of true suchness" means that a correct thought is no-thought. If you are able to contemplate no-thought, you’re already steering toward the wisdom of the Buddhas.

Those who practice and have recently generated the [Bodhi-] mind should have the conviction in the teaching of mind-only. The Buddha has said, "The three realms are mind-only and the myriad dharmas are mere consciousness." All Buddhadharma is only further exposition on these two lines so everyone will be able to distinguish, understand, and generate faith in this reality. The passages of the sacred and the profane, are only paths of delusion and awakening with in your own mind. Besides the mind, all Karmas of virtue and vice are unobtainable. Your [intrinsic] nature is wondrous. It is something natural and spontaneous, not something you can "Enlighten to" [since you naturally have it]. As such, what is there to be deluded about? Delusion only refers to your unawareness that your mind intrinsically has not a single thing, and that the body, mind, and world are originally empty. Because you’re obstructed, therefore, there is delusion. You have always taken the deluded thinking mind, that constantly rises and passes away, as real. For this reason, you have also take the various illusory transformations in and appearances of the realms of the six sense objects as real. If today you are willing to arouse your mind and steer away from [this direction] and take the upper road, then you should cast aside all of your previous views and understanding.

Here not a single iota of intellectual knowledge or cleverness will be useful. You must only see through the body, mind, and world that appear before you and realize that they are all insubstantial. Like imaginary reflections—they are the same as images in the mirror or moon reflected in the water. Hear all sounds and voices like wind passing through the forest; perceive all objects as drifting clouds in the sky. Everything is in a constant state of flux; everything is illusory and insubstantial. Not only is the external world like this, but your own deluded thoughts, emotional discriminations of the mind, and all the seeds of passion, habit tendencies, as well as all vexations are also groundless and insubstantial.

If you can thus engage in contemplation, then whenever a thought arises, you should find its source. Never haphazardly allow it to pass you by [without seeing through it]. Do not be deceived by it! If this is how you work, then you will be doing some genuine practice. Do not try to gather up some abstract and intellectual view on it or try to fabricate some clever understanding about it. Still, to even speak about practice is really like the last alternative. For example, in the use of weapons, they are really not auspicious objects! But they are used as the last alternative [in battles]. The ancient ones spoke about investigating Chan and bringing forth the Hua-T'ou, (refered to in this paper by the author as huatou). These, too are last alternatives. Even though there are innumerable gong ans, only by using the hautou "Who is reciting the Buddha’s name?" can you derive power from it easily enough amidst vexing situations. Even though you can easily derive power from it, [this huatou] is merely a [broken] tile for knocking down doors.

Eventually you will have to throw it away. Still, you must use it for now. If you plan to use a huatou for your practice, you must have faith, unwavering firmness, and perseverance. You must not have the least bit of hesitation and uncertainty. Also, you must not be one way today and another tomorrow. You should not be concerned that you will not be Enlightened, nor should you feel that this huatou is not profound enough! All of these thoughts are just hindrances. I must speak of these now so that you will not give rise to doubt and suspicion when you are confronted [by difficulties].

If you can derive Power from your Power, the external world will not influence you. However, internally your mind may give rise to much frantic distraction for [seemingly] no reason. Sometimes desire and lust well up; sometime restlessness comes in. Numerous hindrances can arise inside of you making you feel mentally and physically exhausted. You will not know what to do. These are all of the karmic propensities that have been stored inside your eighth-consciousness for innumerable eons.

Today, due to your energetic practice, they will all come out. At that critical point, you must be able to discern and see through them then pass beyond [these obstacles]. Never be controlled and manipulated by them and most of all, never take them to be real. At that point, you must refresh your spirit and arouse your courage and diligence then bring forth this existential concern with your investigation of the huatou. Fix your attention at the point from which thoughts arise and continuously push forward on and on and ask, "Originally there is nothing inside of me, so where does the [obstacle] come from? What is it?" You must be determined to find out the bottom of this matter. Pressing on just like this, killing every [delusion in sight,] without leaving a single trace until even the demons and spirits burst out in tears. If you can practice like this, naturally good news will come to you.

If you can smash through a single thought, then all deluded thinking will suddenly be stripped off. You will feel like a flower in the sky that casts no shadows, or like a bright sun emitting boundless light, or like a limpid pond, transparent and clear. After experiencing this, there will be immeasurable feelings of light and ease, as well as a sense of liberation. This is a sign of deriving power from practice for beginners. There is nothing marvelous or extraordinary about it.

Do not rejoice and wallow in this ravishing experience. If you do, then the Mara of Joy will possess you and you will have gained another kind of obstruction! Concealed within the storehouse consciousness are your deep-rooted habit tendencies and seeds of passion. If your practice of huatou is not taking effect, or that you’re unable to contemplate and illuminate your mind, or you’re simply incapable of applying yourself to the practice, then you should practice prostrations, read the sutras, and engage yourself in repentance.

You may also recite mantras to receive the secret seal of the Buddhas; it will alleviate your hindrances. This is because all the secret mantras are the seals of the Buddhas’ diamond mind. When you use them, it is like holding an indestructible diamond thunderbolt that can shatter everything. Whatever comes close to it will be demolished into dust motes. The essence of all the esoteric teachings of all Buddhas and ancestral masters are contained in the mantras. Therefore, it is said that, "All Tathagatas in the ten directions attained unsurpassable and correct perfect enlightenment through such mantras." Even though the Buddhas have said this clearly, the lineage ancestral masters, fearing that these words may be misunderstood, have kept this knowledge a secret and do not use this method. Nevertheless, in order to derive power from using a mantra, you must practice it regularly after a long and extensive period of time. Yet, even so, you should never anticipate or seek miraculous response from using it.

III. Understanding-Enlightenment and Actualized-Enlightenment

There are those who are first Enlightened then engage in practice, and there are others who first practice and then get Enlightened. Also, there is a difference with Understanding Enlightenment and Actualized Enlightenment.

Understanding Enlightenment

Those who thought-understand Enlightenment in their minds after hearing the spoken teaching from the Buddhas and ancestral masters reach an Understanding-Enlightenment. In most cases, these people fall into views and knowledge. Confronted by all circumstances, they will not be able to make use of what they have come to know. Their minds and the external objects are in opposition. There is neither oneness nor harmony. Thus, they face obstacles all the time. [What they have realized] is called "prajna in semblance" and is not from genuine practice.

Actualized Enlightenment

Actualized-Enlightenment results from solid and sincere practice when you reach an impasse where the mountains are barren and waters are exhausted. Suddenly, [at the moment when] a thought stops, you will thoroughly perceive your own mind. At this time, you will feel as though you have personally seen your own father at a crossroad—there is no doubt about it! It is like you yourself drinking water. Whether the water is cold or warm, only you will know, and it is not something you can describe to others. This is genuine practice and true Enlightenment.

Having had such experience, you can integrate it with all situations of life and purify, as well as relinquish, the Karma that has already manifested, the stream of your consciousness, your deluded thinking and emotional conceptions until everything fuses into the One True [Enlightened] Mind. This is Actualized Enlightenment.

This state of Actualized-Enlightenment can be further divided into shallow and profound realizations. If you exert your efforts at the root [of your existence], Smashing the Black Lacquer Barrel and instantaneously overturning the den of fundamental ignorance, with one leap directly enter [the realm of Enlightenment], then there is nothing further for you to learn. This is having supreme karmic roots. Your Actualization will be profound indeed. The depth of Actualization for those who practice gradually, [on the other hand,] will be shallow.

The worst thing is to be self-satisfied with little [experiences]. Never allow yourself to fall into the dazzling experiences that arise from your sensory gates. Why? Because your eighth consciousness has not yet been crushed, so whatever you experience or do will be [conditioned] by your [deluded] consciousness and senses. If you think that this [consciousness] is real, then it is like mistaking a thief to be your own son! The ancient one has said, "Those who engage in practice do not know what is real because until now they have taken their consciousness [to be true]; what a fool takes to be his original face is actually the fundamental cause of birth and death." This is the barrier that you must pass through. See The Five Degrees of Tozan.

So called Sudden Enlightenment and Gradual Practice refers to one who has experienced a thorough Enlightenment but, still has remnant habit tendencies that are not instantaneously purified. For these people, they must, implement the principles from their Enlightenment that they have realized to face all circumstances of life and, bring forth the strength from their contemplation and illumination to experience their minds in difficult situations. When one portion of their experience in such situations accords[with the enlightened way], they will have actualized one portion of the Dharmakaya. When they dissolve away one portion of their deluded thinking, that is the degree to which their fundamental wisdom manifests. What is critical is seamless continuity in the practice. [For these people,] it is much more effective when they practice in different real life situations. See The Five Varieties of Zen.

It is often said that when you truly need a teacher --- or that which will function in lieu of a teacher --- one (or it) will appear. This may due to some inexplicable serendipity. It may be due to the fact that the seeker has searched deeply within himself or herself and determined what sort of instruction seems to be required. It could be swept over him or her like the First Death Experience of the Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi, or the Bhagavan's little known Second Death Experience. Or it could be a spiritual desperation on the part of the seeker, or maybe no more than a successful sales pitch by a teacher (sincere or not). It may be a combination of the previous factors, or some intuitive awareness beyond expression. For whatever the reason, the saying often applies and the coming together of the results of inner and outside forces, some within one's control, some without, can be found most eloquently as they all come together in the following:

SRI RAMANA MAHARSHI: THE LAST AMERICAN DARSHAN
RECOUNTING A YOUNG BOY'S NEARLY INSTANT TRANSFORMATION INTO THE ABSOLUTE DURING HIS ONLY DARSHAN WITH THE MAHARSHI

See also:

1. ENLIGHTENMENT AND KARMA: Their Role in the Awakening Experience
   
2. IN THE WAY OF ENLIGHTENMENT: The Ten Fetters
   
3. RESOLVING THE MIND: Buddha's Enlightenment
   
4. SUDDEN OR GRADUAL ENLIGHTENMENT
   

HAN-SHAN TE-CHING

Comments by the Translator

Han-shan Te-ching (Hanshan Deqing) [1546-1623] is considered one of the four most eminent Buddhist monks in the late Ming Dynasty [1368-1644] partly for his social-political interactions with Ming court, exegesis of Buddhist texts, and most importantly, for his Chan practice. Han-shan along with Sung Master Ch'ang-shui Tzu-hsuan, also of the Ch'an school, were two of the major Zen masters that recognized the controversial Shurangama Sutra as the fundamental teaching of the Buddha and is connected with the Enlightenment of both.

Even at age seven, Han-shan had existential concerns about life and death. These thoughts had led him to leave the household life and pursue a life of Buddhist training already at age nine. At the age of 19, he was ordained as a Buddhist monk.

In all of the history of Chan, there is not a single master that has written in such detail about his own practice and experiences, especially in describing the Enlightened state of mind. According to a compiled record, The Dream Roaming of Great Master Han-shan, he had numerous and extraordinary Enlightenment experiences:

His first experience was during a Dharma lecture when he heard the profound teaching on the Interpenetration of Phenomena (jijimuge) as taught in the Avatamsaka Sutra and the treatise, The Ten Wondrous Gates. He experienced another deep Enlightenment experience sometime later when at Mt. Wu Tai he read the treatise by an early Chinese Madhyamika monk called Things do not Move. According to the record, Han-shan served as proofreader of the Book of Chao, the source of "Things do not Move." Han-shan came across the stories of a Bramacharin who had left home in his youth and returned when he was white-haired. When people saw him, the neighbors asked, "Is that man [whom we know] still living today?" The Bramacharin replied, "I look like that man of the past, but I am not he." On reading this story ,, Han-shan suddenly understood that all things do not come and go. When he got up from his seat and walked around, he did not see things in motion. When he opened the window blind, suddenly a wind blew the trees in the yard, and the leaves flew all over the sky. However, he did not see any signs of motion. When he went to urinate, he still did not see signs of flowing. He understood what the text spoke of as, "Streams and rivers run into the ocean and yet there is no flowing." At this time, Hanshan shattered all doubt and existential concerns about birth and death.

The experience is similar in scope to the following famous Zen discourse between Pai-chang Huai-hai, known as well for Hyakujo's Fox, and Ma-tsu:

In Zen lore Pai-chang Huai-hai (724-814) was a great Zen master. Prior to his awakening experience he was a student of the also great Zen master Ma-tsu Ta-chi (709-788). One day while Pai-chang was still his student the two were out walking together and saw in the sky a formation of wild ducks. Ma-tsu asked, "What is that?" Pai-chang said, "Wild ducks." Ma-tsu said, "Where have they gone?" Pai-chang replied, "They have flown away." Ma-tsu then twisted Pai-chang's nose, of from which Pai-chang cried out in pain. Ma-tsu said, "When have they ever flown away, they have been here since the beginning." (source)

In a more modern day context, both comments above by established and proven masters of old can be compared to those of Susan Segal, a young woman who is reputed to have experienced Awakening in the present era:

"I suddenly became aware that I was driving through myself. For years there had been no self at all, yet here on this road, everything was myself, and I was driving through me to arrive where I already was. In essence, I was going nowhere because I was everywhere already. The infinite emptiness I knew myself to be was now apparent as the infinite substance of everything I saw."

Going back to Hanshan, once when another great Chan Master, Miaofeng, saw him, he knew that Hanshan was different and asked him whether anything has happened. Han-shan replied, " Last night I saw two iron oxen fighting with each other next to the river bank. They both fell in the river. Since then, I have not heard anything about them." Miaofeng rejoiced and congratulated him.

Still, on another occasion, after a meal, Hanshan walked in the mountains and experienced a profound state of Samadhi while standing (that is, and I say again, while STANDING, not sitting or in the lotus position, etc.). In the record, it described that suddenly he lost all consciousness of his body and mind. He experienced everything, the whole universe, as contained in a great perfect mirror-like mind. Mountains and rivers all reflected in it. After he came out of that experience, he wrote the following verse:

In an instant of thought, this chaotic mind is put to rest.

Internally and externally, the sense faculties and objects

Became empty and clear.

Overturning the body—emptiness is now shattered.

The myriad forms and appearances arise and extinguish

[in their own accord].

These are just some of his experiences recorded in "The Dream Roaming of Great Master Han-shan." The instructions on practice that I have translated here are from the second fascicle of this record. The original text had no titles but were letters written to a lay practitioner on Ch'an practice.

Han-shan was also a prolific writer whose published works ranging from commentaries on Buddhist sutras and treatises, to secular poems, reached the length of 8,300 pages. In "The Dream Roaming of Great Master Han-shan," there are 55 chuan, or books, covering over 3,000 pages. His commentaries on the Supplement to the Tripitaka consist of 119 chuan, covering over 1,200 large pages printed on both sides. Like other Ming Dynasty Buddhist monks, he also wrote many commentaries on non-Buddhist works such as Lao Zi and Zhuang Zi, as well as other Taoist and Confucian text.

His contributions to Chinese Buddhism lies in his exemplary personality and his striving toward liberation, especially in an age of mismanaged government, corruption, internal oppression, and the external vulnerability of the Ming Dynasty. Although his Buddhist commentary is not particularly original, the strength of his writing comes from his active approach in reviving and popularizing Buddhism, and in the way he responded to the times in which he lived.

From all that we know of Han-shan, we can conclude that he was a great master who gave equal weight to doctrine and practice, as well as to the revival of Chinese Buddhism.

For information and links regarding T'ang Dynasty (618-907) and Sung Dynasty (960-1279) Zen masters click HERE

Regarding the Han Dynasty (202 BC-220 AD) and the introduction of Buddhism into China click HERE.

Life of Brian?

Lead me from dreaming to waking.
Lead me from opacity to clarity.
Lead me from the complicated to the simple.
Lead me from the obscure to the obvious.
Lead me from intention to attention.
Lead me from what I'm told I am to what I see I am.
Lead me from confrontation to wide openness.
Lead me to the place I never left,
Where there is peace, and peace
- The Upanishads

*note* Brian has hope...always look at the bright side of the life of Brian...hahaha..just remember the last laugh is on you(depends on you...kisses)
-added by danny--
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